


𝑺𝑬𝑿 𝑪𝑳𝑶𝑺𝑬𝑻|| r. suna

by xoxozara



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-16
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-18 03:20:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 38
Words: 31,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29482857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xoxozara/pseuds/xoxozara
Summary: 𝘉𝘌𝘚𝘛 𝘍𝘙𝘐𝘌𝘕𝘋𝘚 𝘛𝘖 𝘍𝘙𝘐𝘌𝘕𝘋𝘚 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 𝘉𝘌𝘕𝘌𝘍𝘐𝘛𝘚 𝘛𝘖 𝘓𝘖𝘝𝘌𝘙𝘚, 𝘞𝘐𝘛𝘏 𝘈 𝘋𝘌𝘝𝘌𝘚𝘛𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘛𝘞𝘐𝘚𝘛~⇒𝑾𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝑹𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒐 𝑺𝒖𝒏𝒂 𝒂𝒏𝒅 𝒀/𝒏 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒃𝒆𝒔𝒕 𝒇𝒓𝒊𝒆𝒏𝒅𝒔 𝒃𝒖𝒕 𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒔𝒐𝒎𝒆𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒎𝒐𝒓𝒆 𝒘𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒉𝒆 𝒘𝒂𝒍𝒌𝒔 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒐 𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒄𝒍𝒐𝒔𝒆𝒕....◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈❛She had definitely blossomed as a girl since we were kids.And it was really, really fucking hot.❜◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈◆◈『Smut, Fluff, & Angst』Originally published on my Wattpad: @bitchyz-chanStarted: 12/20/2020Ended:↳I do not own any of the characters in this book, they belong to the Haikyuu franchise written by the lovely Haruichi Furudate besides (Y/n) and any other OC that I come up with~
Relationships: Suna Rintarou/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 21





	1. I| LUST

☆.｡.:*Chapter 1:☆.｡.:*

**_lust_**

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

**_"Mmmmm S-Suna, fuck~"_ **

You were in your walk-in closet, masturbating. 

Your best friend, Lyla called it your "sex closet." 

In it, you had all the essentials: a vibrator, tissues, lube, and of course a picture of Rintaro Suna taped to your wall. 

You were in love with him, you guys had been friends since before you could walk, and now you wished that he would make you unable to walk. 

You took your fingers out of you, feeling your juices flow out and shoved your fingers in your mouth, before going back down and thrusting three fingers deep inside you, curling them up to hit your g-spot. 

You felt yourself twitch and you arched your back, the sound of your wetness filling the small space as you thrust your hips upwards, biting your lip and moaning loudly as you squirted.... all over the picture. 

You laid down, panting staring up at the ceiling before sitting up, sitting in the liquid that was ejected from your body and stared at the now soaked picture on the wall. 

"I have to change the picture again, huh?" You say to yourself, watching the ink drip off the picture and spatter to the ground. 

You got up and slid open the closet door, shimmying out, getting stuck halfway and yanking yourself out when you heard the door handle move. 

You looked at it with wide eyes and sprinted over to your bed where you leaped up in the air and landed on the bed, covering up your naked bottom half. 

"Y/n~" Your childhood friend said, walking in. 

You were panting from the sudden activity and glanced over to the closet door they hadn't been closed all the way. 

"Suna-channn." You whined. "You need to learn how to knock." 

"Y/n, we've literally never knocked on each other's door, literally since before we could walk we would just barge into each other's rooms." 

"I guess that's true, but we're in high school honey, I could've been changing." Your heart was still pounding and your breath was a little sporadic. 

"Why are you panting?" He asked curiously, staring at your chest that was heaving. 

"No reason." 

"Y/nnn." He walked over to my bed and you flinched as you felt a liquid drip out of you and make a trail down your thigh before falling to the bed. 

He put his hand on your calf and shook you.

"Ugh, Suna-chan you're getting on my nerves." You rolled your eyes, snuggling in deeper to the blanket. 

"You're ridiculous, being under that blanket. It's 100 degrees outside." 

"And? It's cold in here." 

"Literally no, I'm sweating right now." 

"Cause you're nasty Suna-chan." 

He stared at me with those sultry, grayish-yellow eyes and you felt yourself practically melt under that stare, and a faint blush formed on your face. 

"See your face is red, I don't want you to get overheated Y/n-chan." He traced a finger over your red, hot skin with his long, thin fingers. 

_Oh dear God, shove those fingers inside me._

"But I'm comfy Suna-channn." You whined, covering your head with the blanket. 

He rolled his eyes and dropped the topic as you heard a rustle of paper rustle and drop on the ground. 

You turned your head to your closet and saw the corner of the soaking wet picture peeking out as Suna tilted his head confused and went to get up. 

"No!" You choked out, keeping the blanket wrapped around you and practically sprinting over to the closet, using your foot to shove the picture back in. You put your hands behind you and used your fingertips to slid the door closed. 

You looked at Suna with wide eyes as he started at you with a 'wtf' look and leaned back on his hands, legs spread a little. 

"What the hell was that Y/n?" 

"Nothing." You say, trying to calm your beating heart, you slid your foot on the ground and felt some drips that had somehow escaped from your fun from earlier. 

"Nothing my ass." He scoffed, spreading his legs more. 

It took everything in your power not to look in between his legs, the many fantasies of being in between those legs, sucking him off filled your mind and you leaned against the wall, closing your eyes to clear your mind before opening them to meet the gaze of him. 

"If I know anything about you, it's that you're not good at lying. You're hiding something from me." He put a hand on his chest in mock upset. "How could you hide something from your best friend?" 

Best friend. 

That was the problem. 

You swallowed, holding back a sad look and rolled your eyes darkly. "I'm not hiding anything important from you, idiot."

You were drowning in lust for this boy, your love for him was spiraling out of control and you've never been more touch starved and sexually frustrated before more in your life. 


	2. II| THICK THIGHS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 2:☆.｡.:*

**_thick thighs_**

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

"He almost found your sex closet?" Lyla cackled over the phone. 

"Ugh, I do wish you would stop calling it that it's quite exasperating to say the least." You frowned, flopping down on your pillow, now wearing shorts. Suna was downstairs raiding your fridge, much to your dismay. 

"It's accurate love, just admit it."

"Maybe." You grumbled, unhappily not wanting to admit it. 

"Do you wanna have a sleepover tomorrow since it's Saturday?" Lyla asks. You could hear her bracelets clank as she ran her fingers through her hair. 

"Possibly, but I don't know if Suna-chan will want to do something..." You trail off, putting a finger to your lips thoughtfully. 

"What kind of 'something?' She says suggestively, you could practically hear the smirk in her voice. 

"Not the kind of something I want. He'll probably just spend the night like he usually does over the weekends." You sigh, rolling over on your stomach, facing away from the door, staring at your headboard. 

"How do you think it would be if you guys fucked?" 

"Monumental, sumptuous, resplendent..." You list off all the synonyms for saying how great it would be if he fucked you. 

"I don't know what any of those words mean but I'm assuming you think it would be great." 

"Obviously it would be great!" You groan, burying your face in your pillow. 

"What would be great?" 

You scramble up from the bed to see Suna standing there with a bottle of water in his hand, his head tilted as he stared at you curiously. 

"Oh shit!" Lyla giggled. 

"I don't need commentary from the peanut factory, goodbye." 

"So you decid-" 

You hung up on her and threw your phone on the bed. It bounced up and flew across the damn room. 

"Nothing Suna-chan~!" You sing flipping over, clasping your hands together and smiling cutely. 

"Y/n..." He walked up to you and started poking your forehead, while you pouted and protruded your bottom lip out. 

You looked up at him and you practically melted at how cute he looked. He managed to look adorable doing anything, his tongue was sticking out a little as he poked you and it made your heart flutter in your chest. 

You got up from the bed as he flopped on your bed, laying down. You went to get your phone, which had hit the wall. Swooping down, you picked up your phone, hoping in the back of your head that he had checked your ass out and walked back over to him. You stood over him and then draped your body across his lap. 

He reached down and started playing with your hair, such a small touch that he did frequently but always made butterflies shoot through your body. 

You buried your face in the mattress as he continued absentmindedly running his long, slender fingers through your locks. 

-

-

-

_I'm so sexually frustrated right now, I just want someone to be on top of me, relieving myself from this constant agony.'_

The rest of the night had fared well enough, you had been too scared to admit your feelings for him, even though you thought about it at least 30 times. 

You stared at him from afar in the classroom, he was sitting in the front whilst you were in that back, daydreaming about him and how he would be if you ever dated. 

Lyla sat next to you and teased you for staring at him. 

"Girly, you're being kind of creepy." She snickered. 

"Shut up." You snapped, rolling your eyes while you stared at him and wondered how it would be to kiss him. 

"All you gotta do is flaunt those thick thighs of yours and he'll fall in love." She held her arms up in mock surrender as you glared at her, making an all knowing face. "Thick thighs save lives bitch." 

She reached over the aisle and smacked your thigh, causing you to giggle a little and the teacher scowled at you. Suna looked back for a second at you guys before turning back to face the front of the room. 

She reached back, sweatdropping as the teacher also glared at her, her brown curls bouncing as she sat properly in her seat and crossed her legs. 

You gave her the side eye at the same time she did, ending in another round of silent peals of giggles. 


	3. III| TEASE

☆.｡.:*Chapter 3:☆.｡.:*

**_tease_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You and Lyla walked quickly home together, already knowing what was about to go down. 

She had recently interacted with her crush and they had been flirting which made her horny. You were still daydreaming about Suna and it was making your hornier than ever before. 

You looked at each other knowingly and sprinted into your houses, diving into your closet and going to town on your pussy. 

You shoved three of your fingers in your mouth to stifle the pleasured moans that were escaping you with every thrust of your finger and every vibration from the vibrator. It didn't work that well, small whimpers and soft moans would occasionally come out but not enough to alarm someone if say, they were downstairs. 

When you were done, you sat there panting until you heard someone walk into your room and you completely stopped breathing. 

"Y/n-chan~?" 

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. 

FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK! 

You scrambled up, hitting your head on the shelf and threw your shorts back on and slid open the door, crouching down to get out and ultimately falling on your face, sweatdropping. 

You slid the door back closed with your foot and just laid there until you looked up at Suna-chan, whose eyebrow was raised and his mouth open a little at the scene that just happened before him. 

You rested your chin on your palm and glared at him, frowning. 

"Can I help you Rin Rin?" You ask passive aggressively. 

"W-W-? What the hell Y/n? Why were you just in your closet?" 

"I was cleaning." You lied. 

"Then why does your face look so flushed?" 

"Because I'm dying Rin, I'm going into cardiac arrest and I need someone to take me to the hospital." You say, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

"Y/n-channnnn." He whined. "Why do you always lie to me? You're so mean :(" 

You rolled your eyes and laid down on your pillow. "Are you staying the night tonight bitch?" 

"Yea I guess so. By the way where are your parents?"

"They went to the grocery store to get milk and never came back." You say monotonously. 

"I hate you so much." He says laughing, laying down next to you. 

"Nah, you love me. And they're on a week-long business trip with their company and they left their poor, feeble daughter all alone at home." You placed a hand on your forehead dramatically. 

"Oh shut up, at least you have me." 

"Don't you have volleyball?" 

"They cancelled it." He says, muffled in the hoodie he was wearing. 

You hummed, staring at the ceiling. 

Thick thighs, huh? 

You got up from your bed and waltzed over to your dresser, taking out some _very_ short pajama shorts and a black sweater. 

You went into your bathroom and slipped off your school uniform, a small amount of liquid dripping out of you and trailing down your thigh. 

You wiped it away and decided to rinse off in the shower, taking extra care all over your body. 

Your plan was to seduce, attack, and then fuck. 

Once you got dressed, you turned around and checked your ass out. It was definitely peeking out from behind your shorts and the sweater was pulled up in the back to show it off. 

You let your hair out from your low ponytail and shook it out, the faint smell of your favorite shampoo wafting around in the air before you stepped out in your pink slippers and walked into the room. 

You fumbled with the door handle and leaned against the door frame where Suna looked up for a second and then did a double take vaguely gawking at the outfit you were wearing. 

~~~Suna P.O.V~~~

Holy

_Fuck._

I had never really viewed Y/n-chan as anything more than a childhood friend that shared everything with each other, but now that I was watching her as she slunk over to the bed and plopped down next to me. I couldn't stop staring at her body, as a small blush formed across my face. 

She had definitely blossomed as a girl since we had been kids. 

And it was really, _really_ fucking hot. 

I always considered her a sister but I couldn't stop the flow of lewd thoughts running through my mind. 

I wondered if she ever had those thoughts about me... should I ask? That would be a little strange though, and not a normal question to ask your best friend. 

She probably didn't think much of me as more then a brother and I was honestly fine with that, but, damn the way she was dressed right now made me want to rip them off and fuck her. 

I tensed up a little as she scooted closer to me and leaned her head on my chest and sighed. 

The sigh in my head was made much more lewd and sounded more like a moan. 

I wanted to make her moan... 

"H-Hey Y/n-chan?" 

"Mmmm~?" She hummed looking up at me with big eyes that made my heart clench in my chest. 

"Will you get me water?" 

"Mmm, sure." She mumbled, sliding off the bed, her hips swaying a little as she walked to the door. 

A small sigh escaped my lips as I checked her perfect ass and curves out, waiting until she had closed the door and I sprung up feeling a little uncomfortable in my jeans at this moment in time. 

I sneaked over to her closet and slid the door open, and what I saw in there made my mouth drop open. 

Oh yea, this was going to be a _lot_ of fun. 


	4. IV| THE SEX CLOSET

☆.｡.:*Chapter 4:☆.｡.:*

**_the sex closet_ **

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-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

I crouched down a little as I heard the ice machine being turned on downstairs and looked in, eyes wide as I saw a vibrator and more importantly, a picture of me taped on the wall. 

Was that...? 

I crawled closer and saw some small splashes on the ground and immediately felt myself twitch when I thought about how she had been doing that when I walked in. 

I walked back over to the bed, after sliding it back closed and went back to the bed as she walked in, holding the glass in my face. 

"Here you go master." She teases, sarcastically. 

I pulled the blanket over my lap. 

"UGH! It's literally only 7:10 but it feels like it's 10, Suna-chan." 

She said my name as a moan and I pulled the blanket further up and crossed my legs. She laid down next to me, and curled up against my side, resting her head on my chest. 

Why was I feeling this way so suddenly, I've never looked at her sexually at all and now... now I just want to rip her clothes so badly. 

"Y/n-chan?" 

"Yes?" 

"Uh... never mind." 

She sighed and I wrapped my arms around her shoulder, staring down at the top of her head. 

Her body was really hot. 

I trailed my eyes down so the exposed skin, where her sweater had come up and brushed my hand across it quickly so that she wouldn't notice. 

~~~Y/n P.O.V~~~

What was that? 

Did he just... no it was probably my imagination. 

He was so warm and being under the covers with him made you feel sleepy as you curled deeper into him and felt your eyes close. This was paradise, he was your paradise and you felt so safe being in his arms. 

You felt yourself drift off and be overcome by sleep. 

~~~Suna P.O.V~~~

"Y/n?" 

"..." 

"Are you asleep?" 

"..." 

Perfect. 

He would wait a few and then he would wake her up, whenever she woke up she was always so drowsy that she would say anything... even the truth. 

Then I would finally know. 

I leaned back against the pillow and stared at the band poster on the ceiling of (your favorite band). 

~~~2 hours past~~~

"Ughhhh..." She groaned, laying down on her back and stretching. She blinked heavily, before closing her eyes back.

"Y/n?" 

"Mmmm." 

"Why are you always in your closet?" 

"Mmmm idon'tknowit'scuzi'malwayshornyorsomeshit." She mumbled scratchy, words stringing together but I understood her. 

"Do you have feelings for me?" 

"Mmmm yeaIthinkso." 

She drifted back off and I smirked to myself, finally glad to have answers. 

"Y/n." I shook her awake and she jolted awake, sitting up, back hunched over. 

"Oh? How long was I asleep for?" She says, rubbing her eyes. 

"About 2 hours." I say, looking at her turned back. 

_Did she really not remember what she said not even 2 seconds ago?_

She got up and shuffled to the door, running into the wall and staggering out. 

~~~Y/n P.O.V~~~

You walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror at your tired eyes and wiped the sleep in the corner of your eyes away, before running the water and splashing your face to give yourself some color. 

You got your toothbrush to get rid of the gross breath that had accumulated and walked in not expecting Suna to attack you with words as soon as you walked in. 

"Y/n, do you remember what you said when you woke up?" 

"Um, I think I asked how long I had been asleep for?" You say in a questioning tone, sitting on the edge of the bed and looking at him.

He was acting a little strange and had a different look in his eyes. 

"No, you said something else." 

"Oh I did? I don't remember. What did I say?" 

"Well, I asked you why you were always in your closet and you said that it was because you were always horny." 

Your eyes widened and you stopped breathing for a second, as he sat up in the bed. 

"And then I asked if you had feelings for me and you said yes." 

You swallowed heavily and started shuffling your feet around, a bright red blush coating your face at the embarrassment you were feeling. 

"And um, I also went in your closet." 

You stood up abruptly. "Are you fucking joking?" 

"Um no." 

"Oh my god. Oh my god, oh my god." You started pacing down the side of your bed, your hand covering your face. 

"Y/n." 

You turned away from him, staring at the ground. 

"I thought it was hot." 

You lifted your head up, eyes even wider than before and you felt arms creep around your waist as you dropped into his lap, you could feel something poking your ass. 

"Y/n, do you want me to fuck you?" He whispered huskily. 

Your breath increased rapidly as you felt his warm breath against your ear. 

"Y-Yes." You stuttered. 


	5. V| PLEASE FUCK ME!

☆.｡.:*Chapter 5:☆.｡.:*

**_please fuck me!_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

He traced his finger across your thigh and you watched as he slipped his fingertips up your shorts a little, playing with the elastic of your underwear. Your thigh twitched as he slipped it in further and brushed against your clit. 

"You've been thinking about me when your in your closet huh?" He moved his middle finger side to side and you bit down on your lip. "Do you ever moan my name?" 

"Mhmmm." You hum in agreement. 

"Well, how about..." He leaned up to your ear and bit down on it. "I make you scream my name." 

You leaned your head back and lifted your arms up as he slipped off your sweater and moved his hands down your sides. 

He peppered kisses on your shoulders until you got confident and grinded a little against him, making him clutch on your thighs from the feeling of the friction. 

You bit down harder on your bottom lip as you moved your hips side to side and up and down on him, he moved his hand up to your tits and started palming them. 

As much as you had daydreamed and thought about this moment for so long, the fact was still that you were inexperienced and a little shy of someone else seeing your body. 

This was Suna though, he had seen you naked before.... when you were both 2 years old... same difference. 

He groaned against your arm and you felt yourself starting to throb, needing him so badly. 

"Y/n stand up and turn around." 

You stood up and wrapped your arms around you chest, feeling self conscious and you faced him. 

Your face was flushed and your eyes were half-lidded as you watched him slip off his shirt, revealing his perfect abs. 

He wrapped his arms back around you and pulled you forward. You straddled his lap where he went directly to your neck and began sucking on it, leaving a faint red mark. He went up and looked at you, his forehead against yours and pressed his lips to yours. 

You relished in the feeling, and wrapped your arms around his neck as he grabbed your ass with both hands. Your nipples were pressing against his and you shuddered at the feeling it was creating. 

It was intoxicating. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist as he fell backwards, his hands still on your ass. You moaned softly into the kiss, tilting your head to deepen it. 

He pulled away. "Tell me what you want me to do to you." He murmured in your ear, his knee pressing against your area. 

"Please..... fuck me." You whimpered. 

He got up, kissing you until you felt your back against the mattress. He got up and stared at you, reaching down and pulling off your shorts, revealing that you weren't wearing any underwear and that you were already very wet. 

He raised an eyebrow and bit down on his lip, looking at you. You frowned and squeezed your legs together. 

"You're making me self conscious idiot." You whined. 

"No need to, when you're so fucking hot." He says pulling off his jeans until he was only in his underwear and went back down, furiously kissing you all over. 

Puffs of air was escaping your mouth with every pant, feeling very aroused at the sudden attention your body was finally getting after so long. 

"S-Suna, p-p-please." You begged him, he looked up at you smirking, his lips pressed against your bottom rib. 

"Damn Y/n, how horny are you for me?" He says, getting up against and pulling his underwear down a little. 

You glared at him, watching as he teased you. "I-I hate y-you." 

"Oh you do? Ok I can handle that." 

He pulled his underwear down completely, his dick springing out and you wondered how you were gonna take all of it. 

He placed both hands on either side of your head, his eyes gleaming. 

"How about I pretend I hate you too and fuck you like it?" 

"Mmmmm." He kissed you against as he slid himself in you. 

You leaned your head back as he kissed down the side of your neck, his breath harsh. You dug your nails into his back until he was fully inside you. You wrapped your legs around his waist, tears springing in your eyes and he watched you intently as he thrusted once inside you. 

Your eyes rolled back and you lifted your hips up to meet his thrust. He plunged his hands in your hair and kissed you as he began thrusting slow and deep inside you. Your toes curled as he hit your cervix and a shaky moan escaped you. 

Tears streamed down your face and your body felt hot, as he began slamming faster into you. 

He pulled away for a second, seeing the tears and stopped. 

"D-Don't s-stop." 

"But you're crying." 

"I-It f-feels so f-fucking -good, go f-faster." You moaned, your nails digging deeper into his skin. 

He started going faster and your legs became unlatched and began flopping around with every hard trust. 

His low groans in your ear, made your pussy clench around him, taking him aback a little. 

"Fuck Y/n, you're so tight~" 

He pulled out almost completely before slamming hard into you, sending your legs trembling. He did that a few more times until you felt the familiar tingling sensation spreading through you. By this time your legs were shaking almost uncontrollably and your back arched into him, his pace never seeming to falter. 

"Y/n, I'm g-gonna cum s-soon." He grunted. 

"S-S-Same.... ah, ah, ah, S-Suna~!" You moaned out loudly as you released on him, and he pulled out cumming on your thigh. 

"Sorry." He apologized. 

"I-It's ok." You sniffled and wiped the tears off of your face. 

"You can go in the bathroom first." He said. 

"Yea." You breathed out, getting up and dashing into the bathroom where you stood and stared at yourself in the mirror. 

There was a hickey on your neck and some red scratch marks on your arm and thighs. Your face was still flushed and your eyes were tinted red from the tears. 

You blew your nose and ran some water, splashing your face over and over again. 

You were really hoping that he didn't regret this escapade you two had indulged yourselves in. 


	6. VI| A CONVERSATION

☆.｡.:*Chapter 6:☆.｡.:*

**_a conversation_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You walked back in the bedroom, after cleaning up and getting back dressed. You stood awkwardly in the doorframe as he stood up, still naked and brushed past you, not saying anything. 

You began to feel nervous, thinking that he might be mad at you or regret the decision he had made. 

You didn't regret it... but he might. 

You heard the water running and you laid down, crawling under the covers until you were in the middle of the bed, your body completely covered. 

You decided to stay in this ball until the end of time and the sky fell down and angels started singing. 

The door opened and you heard Suna's footsteps walking over to you and then stopping, you suddenly felt cold as the sheets were pulled off of you and you covered your head with your arms. 

"Why are you hiding?" 

"I'm never leaving my bed." You say muffled against your arm. 

"I hope it's because I fucked you so good that you can't walk." 

You smiled a little. 

There was the Suna you knew and loved. 

You peeked out from your arm and looked at him, he was smirking as he laid down next to you and spooned you. 

You unlatched your arms from your head and straightened out a little as he got comfortable against you and covered the both of you with the sheets. 

"Do you regret it?" You asked suddenly.

"What? Of course not, the fuck Y/n?" 

"Really?" 

"Yea, it was the best sex ever." 

"You're acting like you've had sex before." 

"I have." 

"What?" 

"I'm kidding, we're constantly attached at the hip when would I have time to have sex?" 

"That's true." 

He squeezed his strong arms tighter around you and you felt his warm breath against the back of your neck. He moved his arm down and slipped his hand up your shirt to rest on your stomach and he kissed the side of your neck, intertwining his leg with yours. 

You felt content, you had cuddled like this before but it hadn't ever felt this intimate and you relished in the feeling.

You loved feeling loved and needed... 

Wait... but did he love you? Or did he just love having sex with you?

.

.

You woke up the next morning and reached over to your pillow where your phone was bursting with notifications from Lyla. 

_la la: Y/n_

_Y/nnnnn_

_How's it going with Suna?_

_Hellooooooo_

_Hellooooooooooo_

_I'm pregnant_

_nothing?_

_omigod you confessed and then he killed you_

_fuckfuckfuck y/nnnnnn_

_ 10 minutes later...  _

_Y/N HOLY FUCK AMI JUST TEXTED ME SAYING  
THAT SHE WANTED TO FUCKKKK!! SHOULD I DO IT?   
I GUESS YOLO SHE'S HOT! _

_ 1 hour later...  _

_I just left Ami's house, it was fucking GREAT!  
she really knows how to eat pussy, i came like 2 times. _

_and... you're still not responding_

_girl, it's 2am you never go to sleep at 2am_

_Y/NNNN I'M GOING TO CRYYYY_

_You: jesus La la, i'_ _m happy that you got your  
pussy ate by a cute girl and I have something   
to tell you when suna-chan leaves. _

_la la: KLAJDFLASD FINALLY YOU RESPOND,  
I WAS WORRIEDDDD! _

_You: ok ok, no need to be worried i just fell  
asleep early, now tell me all about your escapade with ami. _

_la la: okieee well i went over and we started making out  
and shit right? and then we like both took off our clothes   
and she's like super dominant and i'm a bottom bitch so   
_ _she was like being really aggressive and she left like 2 hickeys  
on my tits and she ate me out, and it was literally   
sooooo fucking good and then we like scissored and   
she came and then i left lol :p_

_You: that's good la la, i'm happy but what happened  
to that guy you were talking to? _

_la la: eh? he didn't ask if he wanted to fuck, ami did silly_

_You: -_- makes sense_

_la la: n e waysss tell me when suna leaves bc i  
wanna hear the tea okie okie okie? _

_You: yes yes yes okie_

You turned your head a little and smiled at his calm face, he always looked so cute when he was asleep. The scowl that usually graced his face was gone and replaced with something soft. 

He groaned at your slight stirring and unattached himself from you, rolling over and rubbing his eyes. 

"Mmm... what time is it?" He says in a sleepy, groggy voice. 

You looked at your phone. "11:13." 

"Oh shit." He grumbled. "I have to get home soon, my mom's gonna be ranting to me as soon as I step foot in the house." He rolled his eyes and you grinned. 

"That's ok, Lyla wants me to call her anyways." 

He continued rubbing his eyes and sat up, sitting on the edge of your bed. You crawled over and hugged him from behind, your legs wrapped around him. He reached his arms up and held onto your arm and rested your chin on his shoulder.

"Y/n I have to go." He says, laughing breathily. 

"I know." You grumbled, letting go and sitting back on the bed. 

He stood up and stretched and turned to face you, where he swooped down and kissed you, taking you aback. 

"I'll see you soon ok?" 

"Hmmm." You hummed in agreement as he walked out of your room. 

You took your phone out and immediately called her and she picked up after the first ring. 

"Spill." She says, you heard her slurping on something. 

"We fucked." 

You heard her squeak and you imagined her mouth dropping open. "No you didn't." 

You giggled. "We did, we actually did. I can't even believe it, La la." 

"OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD OMIGOD I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU Y/N! AHHHHHHHHHHHH I'M CRYING RIGHT NOW, MY SHIP IS SAILING!" She squealed happily. "Omg how was it though?" 

"Holy fuck... it was the best, my legs are still trembling..." 


	7. VII| BATHROOM BLOW JOB

☆.｡.:*Chapter 7:☆.｡.:*

**_bathroom blow job_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You were happy. 

Why? 

Suna and your bedroom escapade hasn't affected your relationship at all and frankly, it worried you a bit and made you seem uneasy. Despite this negative thoughts, you were faring well enough. 

You were keeping up a friends with benefits type of thing but were still as close as ever. It worried you because you feared that, that's all he would want to be and not have a serious relationship. 

He walked up to you during a break and slung his arm around your shoulder, you wrapped your arm around his waist while you chattered about everything and nothing. 

"Y/n." He whispered. 

"What?" 

"I have a dare for you." 

"Oh bet." You say. You loved dares and would literally do anything, no matter how reckless. 

He leaned down to your ear and whispered: 

"I dare you to suck my dick." 

You shuddered at how his breath tickled you. "Hah, when and where?" 

"Right now and in the girls bathroom." He grabbed your arm and yanked you in before any onlookers could see. 

"Rin!" You exclaimed, stumbling. 

You scolded him as he wrapped his arms around you and leaned down, kissing and biting your neck. 

"Suna-chan there could be someone in here!" You exclaimed, as he bit down on your ear lobe. "Also someone could catch us idiot!" 

"That's what makes it exciting right?" He says, looking down on you, his pretty eyes gleaming with mischief. 

"Suna!" You were trying to sound stern but everything that he was doing was making your legs weak. 

"You don't want to?" He looked at you with big puppy dog eyes and protruded his bottom lip out. 

You blushed and looked away from him. 

"Fine, fine." You mumbled, grabbing onto his hand and dragging him into a stall. 

He grabbed you around the waist and you stood on your tiptoes to reach his height. You began making out, he slipped his tongue in your mouth and began exploring it while you ran your fingers through his hair. 

He ran his hand down your back and groped your ass, pulling your skirt up so that he made skin to skin contact. He reached his hand down and grabbed onto your thigh, pulling it up so that you wrapped your leg around his waist. 

He began to grind against you, small moans escaping your as the friction of him rubbing against your underwear made you aroused. 

When both of you pulled away, you stared at each other for a second, catching your breath. You tilted your head to the side and kissed his neck, just below his ear before unwrapping your leg from around his waist and dropping down. 

You didn't go on your knees for obvious reasons but you sat in a crouching position as you unbuckled his belt and slowly unzipped his pants. 

You looked up at him once as you slid down his underwear, his already hard dick springing out. 

You wrapped your hand around it and stroked it once, looking at him as he leaned his head back, a low gravely groan escaping him. 

You continued this until you formed enough spit in your mouth. You lightly licked the tip of it and down the side, teasing him. You could see his stomach rising and falling sporadically as you placed your mouth around the tip and took it to the back of your throat. A louder groan from him graced your ears as you gagged, letting it slide into your throat. 

"F-Fuck Y-Y/n." He reached down and grabbed onto your hair and began controlling the speed you were going. 

You looked up at him and felt butterflies at his expression. His head was leaned back, eyes closed, and he was biting his bottom lip as helped you keep the casual pace you were going at. 

You came up for air, slurping up his pre-cum, going back down and did what Lyla taught you. 

You reached your hands up and put your pointer finger and thumb in a circle, wrapping them around his dick, and began moving them in opposite direction, going up and down while sucking at the same time. 

You saw him clench his hand against the bathroom wall and his grip on your hair got tighter. He gritted his teeth together, his shuddering and ragged breath echoing off the walls as you continued your aggressive pace. 

You felt him twitch in your mouth and his entire body tensed up, motioning that he was about to cum. 

"Fuckkkk~ take all my fucking cum Y/n~" He moaned as he came into your mouth. 

He bit down harder on his lip, watching you as he filled your mouth up and you pulled away gasping a little. You swallowed his cum and wiped your mouth off with a finger. 

"Damn Y/n, where did you learn that shit?" He asked pulling up his pants, looking at you like you were a goddess. 

"Lyla." You say simply, getting up and stretching. 

You brushed yourself off and unlocked the stall door, grateful that no one had walked in. 

You walked to the sink and washed your hands and mouth out, luckily, you always carried a toothbrush and toothpaste everywhere you went. 

You were somewhat of a germaphobe when it came to personal hygiene. 

He watched you do all of this with a small smile on his face and when you were done, he wrapped his arms around you and pressed you against the counter and kissed you lightly. 

You grabbed onto his shirt sleeve as he peppered kisses all over your face and the sensitive spots on your neck. 

"We should get to class, Bitch Sensei is going to yell at us for being late." 

He sighed loudly. "But I wanna stay here with you." He complained. 

Those words made every part of you flutter and you smiled softly. 

"After volleyball just come to my house like usual." 

"Mhmmm." He hummed. 


	8. VIII| CUDDLES

☆.｡.:*Chapter 8:☆.｡.:*

**_cuddles_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You were curled up in your bed, underneath your soft blanket, scrolling aimlessly through your phone, frowning occasionally at something you saw. 

You heard a small knock and then the door open and looked up to see Lyla standing in the doorway with her usual goofy grin. 

You smiled at your best friend. She was wearing short, blue jean shorts with white thigh highs, a rainbow at the top, a black crop top with the Sailor Moon girls on it, and paired with black Doc Marten combat boots. Her hair was in pigtails and she had rainbow hair clips, with the front tendrils hanging down in her face curled. 

"What's up Ly?" 

"Ah nothing, I was just bored and felt like coming over." She walked over with long strides and laid down next to you. 

"So how's Ryan?" 

"Who?" 

You laughed. "Ly." 

"Oh yea that guy... I honestly have no clue. I kinda forgot he existed if I'm being honest." 

You both cackled like hyenas at her stupidity and then fell back, panting slightly, staring up at the ceiling. 

"Y/n." 

"Mmm?" 

"What is love?" 

"Baby don't hurt me~" You sang and she punched your arm giggling. 

"No, seriously." 

"I'm not really sure. What Suna and I have is love, I suppose even though I'm not sure if he has those kinds of feelings for me, but I know I love him. So to answer your question, just look at me. I'm lovestruck..." 

.

.

"Y/n..." 

You groaned and rolled over on your side. 

"Y/nnnnnnn." 

"Hmmmm?" 

"Wake up." 

"No." 

You continued getting shaken awake until you opened your eyes unhappily and looked into the gaze of Suna-chan. 

"What?" You mumbled, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. Lyla wasn't in your room anymore, so you assumed she had left after you had fallen asleep. 

"Scoot over." 

You scooted over and flopped back down, turning on your side wanting to go back to sleep. You felt the sheets going off of you and then a dip in the bed. The sheets dropped back down on top of you and you felt Suna curl up and spoon you, wrapping his arm around your stomach. Your ass was pressed against his crotch area and he slid his leg, in between yours. 

You felt his warm breath on the back of your neck, making you more sleepy than you already were. 

Both of your arms were up and laying next to your head until you felt him grab onto your hand. He moved it down to your lower stomach and intertwined his fingers with yours. You opened your eyes sleepily for a second at the intimate touch before closing them again, your eyes feeling like bricks and smiled a little. 

"How was practice?" You asked groggily. 

"Fine." He said in your ear. "Atsumu pissed me off though." 

"Again? How?" 

"He's just cocky and it ticks me off." 

"Mhmmm." You hummed in agreement. 

You continued basking in the comfortable silence until he broke it. 

"Y/n..." 

"Yes?" 

"I have something to tell you." 

"What?" 

"I... um..." 


	9. IX| NERVOUS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 9:☆.｡.:*

**_nervous_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

**~~~Suna P.O.V~~~**

"What is it Suna-chan?" 

"I forgot." 

She laughed sleepily. "Silly Suna-chan." 

I couldn't do it, which was weird. I wasn't typically someone to be a pussy about confessing my feelings to someone close to me but in this case... maybe I was. 

I wasn't sure whether or not she really did like me in a romantic way or purely in a sexual way. 

I was glad we were still best friends, I really was but we had morphed into a friends with benefits type of relationship and I wanted more. 

I wanted to be more with her. 

I opened my eyes and watched her as she fell asleep, her quiet breath slowing down and her face relax. 

How many times have we slept together in the same bed? 

More times than I can count on both hands, but this was the first time I felt something flutter deep within me. 

I kissed the side of her neck and curled deeper into her warmth, quickly falling asleep. 

.

.

"I'm just saying if you don't confess to her, then I'll snatch her up." The fake blonde said, laughing arrogantly at himself. 

I frowned and spiked a ball towards his face, which he dodged at the last minute. "Shut up wannabe Sangwoo." 

"Hey no need to be harsh, Suna." 

"No need for you to be a fucking idiot either, but yet you still are." 

I crossed my arms and stared at Atsumu who was frowning at me. 

"What made you change yer feelings towards her anyways? Last time I heard, you were only best friends." 

"I don't know." I lied, looking away for a second. 

"Oh my God.... YOU FUCKED HER!" He pointed at me accusingly. 

"Shut the fuck up." I spiked another ball, hard at him, this time it made its target and he whined loudly. 

I looked nervously at the rest of the team, hoping they hadn't heard Atsumu's loud outburst. 

After he was finished complaining, he smirked. "You didn't deny it though." 

I glared at him, not saying anything. 

He clapped his hands together like a child. "I ship it." 

"Shut it, Berry B. Bensen." 

**~~~Y/n P.O.V~~~**

"Lyla... what the hell are you wearing?" 

She had on an outfit that was similar to the other day but more revealing. 

"Well we're going to get coffee, so I wanted to change." 

"Lyla... we're getting coffee, not going to a strip club." 

She laughed loudly, her brunette locks bouncing. 

She was wearing a tight, cropped halter top with a black bra underneath, blue jean booty shorts, black thigh highs with white bows at the top, and white Doc Martens. 

"Oooo, do you wanna see Suna while he's practicing? He'll be all sweaty and hot." 

"You just want to see Atsumu and Osamu don't you?" 

She placed her fingertips to her mouth and laughed mischievously. "I have no idea what you're talking about." 

You rolled your eyes as we walked to where the gym was and stuck your head inside. "Suna-channnn~~~~~~" 

He appeared to be in a conversation with Atsumu and he turned his head, a faint blush could be seen as you threw up a peace sign and scrunched your face up cutely. 

"ATSUMUUU BABEEEEE!" 

You jumped as you heard Lyla screech happily, her phone flying threw the sky. You scrambled to catch it, almost dropping it as she ran over to Atsumu and jumped him. 

She shoved his face in her tits and started chattering happily to him while you pinched the bridge of your nose. 

"Atsumu, Atsumu, Atsumu, Atsumu." She sang. 

"What?" 

"When will you accept your feelings for me? It's making me sad, ya know?" 

You saw a blush form on his face at how blunt she was and he sighed as she continued talking. 

Suna walked to you. "What's up?" 

"Nothing." You sigh. "She dragged me here, because she wanted to harass the twins." 

She was coaxing Osamu over to her with a playful curl of her finger in his direction and he was taking the bait, slowly inching over in her direction. 

_"He got a beard, well, I'm tryna wet it. I let him taste it, and now he diabetic. I don't wanna spit, I wanna gulp, I wanna gag, I wanna choke. I want you to touch that lil dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat."_

You looked down at Lyla's phone that was spewing lewd lyrics. 

"Answer that for me babe!" She called out to you. 

You sighed and answered the call, blushing with what was said on the other side. 

Lyla was wrapping her finger around the twins at this point, and they were both blushing messes underneath her power. 

"Who was it?" She asked turning to you, she currently had each of her hands wrapped around the twins throat while they looked nervously down at the short girl. 

"Um, it's Ryan from Tinder and he wants you to have a threesome with him and his girlfriend...." 

She laughed loudly and turned around, pressing her back against Atsumu's stomach and grabbing his arms, forcing them around her. 

"Definitely not, the only threesome I'll be having is with 'Sumu and 'Samu." She giggled. 

You facepalmed, staring at your eccentric best friend who yanked on Osamu's shirt and pulled him down to her level, whispering something in his ear. 

You and Suna watched, eyes wide at her before he turned to you. 

"I have something to tell you when I come over tonight." 

"Alright." You smiled softly. 

"LYLA MORGAN IF YOU DON'T GET OVER HERE RIGHT NOW, I'LL KILL YOU!" You yell, your demeanor changing. 

She turned around and stuck out her bottom lip, as you scolded her. 

"But-" 

"No." 

"I-" 

"No." 

"Y/nnnnn." 

You crossed your arms over your chest and stuck your hip out as she sighed and walked away from the twins, head down. 

"Ne, Y/n." Suna says coyly. 

"Huh?" 

He leaned towards you and whispered in your ear. "It's hot when you're dominant."

Your eyes widened and a red blush formed over your face, coating you in embarrassment. 

You grabbed onto her arm, gripping firmly still flustered from his previous comment. 


	10. X| A CONFESSION

☆.｡.:*Chapter 10:☆.｡.:*

**_a confession_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You sat at the table in the café, slurping on your ice almond milk latte, while Lyla flirted with the cashier. 

She twirled a strand of her hair around her pointer finger and shoved leaned against the counter, perfectly placing her arm under her tits so that her cleavage would show. 

You zoned everything else out, wondering what Suna-chan was going to tell you. Maybe he wanted to fuck again? I mean, not complaining. 

"Woooo." Your friend sighed loudly, plopping on the bench across from you, and held out a small piece of paper. "Got his number." 

"What about Atsumu and Osamu?" 

"Who?" 

You sweatdropped and blinked at her, as she laughed loudly. 

"I'm kidddingggg, of course. I would never forget my twin babes!" 

"Are you gonna have a threesome with them?" You looked at her lazily and placed the side of your face in your palm that was on the table. 

She laughed joyously. "It would be a dream come true, but I feel like they wouldn't be into that, so I was mostly joking." 

"I feel like they would actually be kinky." 

"Well it would be a pleasant surprise and I would obviously have a threesome with them!" 

You peered at the people sitting at the table over who seemed to be concerned with our choice in conversation and you smirked as Lyla continued babbling. 

"Oh yea, what did Suna-chan tell you when we were in the gym?" 

"He told me that he had to tell me something tonight when he came over." 

"OOOOOOOO HE'S GONNA CONFESS!" She yelled out happily. 

You jumped back, a shudder running through your body at her abrupt tone. 

"Do you think so?" You asked quietly. 

"Of courseeeeee! I can see the way that he looks at you, like a man in love." 

"Ugh, shut up, you're so corny." 

"But you love me! Thank you love~" She purred, as one of the baristas from behind the counter brought her the coffee she ordered, with a blush on his face. 

"Maybe it'll be good for you." You commented as the barista walked away practically vibrating with excitement. 

"Huh?" 

"The Miya twins." 

"Oh, how come?" 

"Maybe you could finally settle down." 

She looked at you with a bewildered look on her face. "With two guys?" 

"Polyamorous relationship." You stared at her from around your straw, your stomach clenching up from not having caffeine in a long time. 

"Hmmm, I've never really thought about that kind of thing before---" 

.

.

You laid down at home shivering underneath your blanket. 

The house was oddly quiet and you weren't really a fan of it. You hated when your parents left for long stretches of time because they say they're going to be back in 1 week but then leave mysteriously for 3 months without a phone call. 

It pissed you off which is why you've gotten used to having someone over mostly every night--- mostly Suna. 

Your eyes glazed over from scrolling through Tik Tok and watching all the fake people when the door to your bedroom opened. 

"Hey Suna-chan~" You sang, smiling at the freshly showered boy, his hair still a little damp. 

"Hey." He said quietly and walked over to your bed and sat down, placing his hands on his thighs. 

"What's up? What did you want to tell me?" 

He bit down on his bottom lip and had a nervous look in his eyes. 

"Y/n, we're best friends right?" 

You felt a small pang in your chest. "Y-Yea." 

"So I can tell you anything and it wouldn't affect our friendship, even if it was something crazy?" 

You gave him a weak smile and grabbed onto his hand that was resting in his lap. 

"Did you kill someone?" You asked, half kidding. 

He cracked a smile. "No, not yet." 

Your eyes widened and a playful smile graced your features. "Kinda freaky, Suna-chan." 

A breathy laugh escaped him and he stared back down at the ground. 

"So I know that we've been fucking and just messing around---" 

"Ara ara~ such crude language." You laughed. 

He looked down at you, a small smile on his face.

"And um-- I want more than that." 

You froze and felt a little flutter run through your body. 

"Seriously? Like an actual relationship?" 

He nodded his head and a wide, goofy grin spread across your face as you hugged him around the waist, burying your face into his side. 

"I want to be in a relationship with you too, Suna-chan." 

A relieved exhale escaped him and he ran his fingers through your hair. 

"Well that's good, I was quite literally quaking on my way here." 

You giggled. 

He scooted backwards on the bed, dragging you along with him, until his back was resting against the mound of pillows on your bed. You crawled upwards and laid down on top of him, your arms around his neck and his around your waist, his hand resting on your ass. 


	11. XI| COUPLE

☆.｡.:*Chapter 11:☆.｡.:*

**_couple_ **

**-**

**-**

**-**

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

You walked down the school hallway, a faint blush gracing across your cheeks as Suna had his hand intertwined with yours and the students around you were gawking at the two of you. 

He turned and looked at you. "Why are you blushing silly?" 

"I'm not, idiot." 

He poked your face where the blush was resting. "Yes you are." 

"SUNAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" 

We both jumped as we heard a person yelling Suna-chan's name. We turned around looking nervously behind us and saw Atsumu and Osamu running up to us. 

"YOU GUYS ARE DATING NOW?!" Atsumu exclaimed. 

"Idiot, shut up, you're too damn loud." You hiss at him. 

"Sorry, yer dating now?" 

"No, we just make it a habit to hold hands as we walk down the hallways." You say monotonously. 

He huffed and crossed his arms like a child. "Yer so mean Y/n." 

"I know." You say smugly, flipping your hair back dramatically. 

"Y/NNNNNN!" 

We all flinched as a trilling voice came from behind me. 

"OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU'RE DATING AHHHHHHHHHHHH MY SHIP!" She squealed and then seeing Atsumu and Osamu, proceeded to harass them by jumping on Osamu's back

"So when did this happen~?" She said as Osamu went to hold her legs so she wouldn't fall off of him. 

"Last night." 

"Did y'all fuck?" 

You sputtered at the blunt question, blushing as she stared down at you with an innocent gaze. 

"Nooooooo! Don't be so blunt about your questions."

"Hehe sorry." She giggled sheepishly, giving me a closed-eye smile. 

"Are you-" You waved a finger towards the two boys and she gave you a quick ' _Shh'_ as they both looked at you and her confused. 

"What?" They asked in unison. 

"Oh nothing~" She sang. 

They both frowned and you shuffled your feet awkwardly, as a slight tension filled the air. 

"N e waysss, we're gonna just---" You yanked Suna's arms and pulled him away from the group as the three people began talking in low voices. 

You looked up at him with wide eyes and he peered curiously down at you. 

"What was that about?" 

"Me and Ly were just talking the other day about her being in a relationship." 

"With the twins?" 

"Yea." 

"I feel bad for her." 

"Why?" 

"They're so chaotic and they fight literally all the time. I have proof." He waved his phone around, gesturing that he had recorded all of their fights. 

"Ah yes, those are so fun to watch." 

"You wanna watch them later tonight?" 

"Sure." 

-

Later that night, you and Suna were cuddled up under the sheets, cackling at his phone, watching the chaos ensue between Osamu and Atsumu. 

"Who's the better twin?" You asked him. 

"Literally neither of them." 

"That's so mean." You tittered, tracing circles in your pillow the tip of your pointer finger. 

"Well who do you think the better twin is?" 

"I don't know, Osamu is less chaotic than Atsumu." 

"Did you not see the video I just showed you?" 

You snorted with laughter, remembering their faces and turned around so that you were curled up against his chest. His protective arms wrapped around you and rested on your lower back, as you pressed your face against him, able to hear his steady heartbeat. 

"Rin." 

"Hmmm?" 

"Why me?" 

"Why you what?" 

"Why did you choose me?" 

"Um I don't know, you're hot and I like you." 

"Pffttt." 

We stayed silent for a few more seconds until he was the one to break it: 

"Why did you choose me?" 

"Because you're perfect, obviously---" 


	12. XII| RIDE ME

☆.｡.:*Chapter 12:☆.｡.:*

**_ride me_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

"Let's get Ly and the twins together." 

"Huh?" 

"You heard me, you're not deaf." He flicked your forehead and you stuck your bottom lip out, pouting like a child. 

"You did that for what?" 

"Why not?" 

"Why?" 

"Why not?" 

I sighed. "Why though?" 

"We're so stupid." He said, smiling a little. 

"I know we are." 

"But that's why I love you and you love me." 

You blushed a little and hid your face in the pillow. "UGHHHH YOU'RE SO CUTE, I HATE YOU!" You yelled, your voice getting muffled by the fabric suffocating you. 

"And you're adorable." He said, leaning down and kissing the side of your neck, a shiver running through your body, "Let's fuck." He whispered in your ear. 

"You damn pervert." You murmured, taking your face out from the pillow and looking at him, face bright red. 

"Aw you're so cute when you blush." He teases you, rubbing the redness on your face, only making you more flustered. 

"Babe, if you keep on blushing, you'll faint or something." 

You shoved your face in the pillow again when he said _babe_ , your face feeling like it was quite literally going to melt off and drip onto the bed. 

"Y/n~♪" He sang, running a hand up and down your body, making a journey from your shoulder, down the side of your stomach and down your hip, rubbing your thigh before going back up. 

"W-What?" You stammered. 

"It's so cute when you get all flustered just by me touching you like this." 

"Stop making fun of me," You whined in the pillow, "and stop calling me cute so much." 

"Why, it's true. Would you rather me call you beautiful? Gorgeous? Lovely? Adorable? Prepossessing?" 

"What the hell does that even mean?" 

"I honestly don't know." He laughed a little and continued tracing your body with his finger, teasing you, "All I know is that I want you--- _darling_." He whispers in your ear before lightly nibbling on it. 

"R-Rin chill with that shit." 

"Why?" 

"It makes me feel all weird." 

"That's the point." He bit down again, sliding his hand in between your thighs, his thumb grazing against your sex, your thigh twitching a little from the contact. 

He moved his head down to your neck where he softly kissed it, moving over a little and biting down, and licking over the mark that he made. 

You bit down on your bottom lip as he continued abusing all the right places on your neck, almost like he had memorized every inch of your body and what makes you feel pleasure. 

He began moving his hand in a slow up and down movement, a fluttering, contracting feeling blooming in your lower stomach. He traced his hand up your stomach and put a finger under your chin, tilting your head back ever so slightly and pressing his lips to yours. 

You turned your body more to deepen the kiss, your hips rolling back onto his boner, making him groan a little from the pressure. He moved his hands down and slid off the shorts you were wearing and threw them across the room. 

He pulled apart first, a glimmer of excitement in his eyes as a smirk toyed on his mouth. You looked at him with wide eyes, wondering why he looked so smug and sadistic. 

He moved over to your ear. "Ride me." He said, a low growl in his voice. 

You blushed furiously at his gravelly tone and exhaled loudly, before turning around and straddling his hips with your thighs. 

He stared at you with such an intensity it made you self conscious and you covered your face with your hands, peeking one eye out and looking down at him. 

"Stop staring at me!" You groan into your hand, feeling embarrassed that you had agreed to this. 

He reached up and pulled your hands off of your burning face. 

"Don't cover your beautiful face." He said softly, "Why are you being so shy anyways?" 

"I feel exposed." 

"You literally have your clothes on." 

"I know, but-" 

"Fine," He said, sitting up and resting his back against the headboard and wrapped his arms around your waist, "Is that better?" 

You nodded your head. 

"Well I guess it's better because then you'll be able to hear how good you're making me feel." He said breathily in your ear. 

You sucked in a sharp breath as he grabbed onto the hem of your t-shirt and pulled it off you, leaving you clad in your bra. He peppered kisses down your shoulder as his slender fingers fiddled with the clasp, taking it off of you once he succeeded. 

He cupped them in his hands and stared at them. 

"You have nice tits." He stated bluntly.

"A-Are you trying to make me f-feel embarrassed?" You stammered. 

"Maybe." 

"I hate you." 

"Ah, no you don't." 

He moved you down his legs a little and started unzipping his pants and pulled them down a little to show the bulge in his underwear. 

You scooted up a little and he rested his hands on either side of your hips where you began grinding up against him. He bit down on his bottom lip and watched you rub against him, letting out the occasional throaty moan. 

When you were done teasing him, he pulled down his underwear, his dick springing out and he reached out and pulled your underwear to the side. 

He watched you as you got up on your knees and lowered yourself down on him slowly, biting your lip and letting out whimpers and whines from the size of it. 

"Look you can see where it is." He poked your lower stomach and you flinched. 

"You're a fucking child." You hissed. 

"It's one of my many redeeming qualities." He grinned up at you as you panted and let out shuddery moans, trying to get used to it. 

Once you felt slightly adjusted you moved yourself up and down once, moaning from a mixture of pain and pleasure. 

He pulled your forward to deepen the feeling of him inside you as you continued riding him, his harsh breaths against your neck and the pleasured murmurs he made reverberating in your ear. 

You began moving faster, letting out small squeaks. You swore you could see sparks flash before you from how good it felt and tears formed in the corner of your eyes. 

"Hmmm, you're so tight around me~" He said, reaching up and lightly wrapping his hand around your throat. You looked down at him with half-lidded eyes panting and sighing. 

You reached your hand back to grab onto his thigh and arched your back, biting your lip and moaning out until right when you were about to go back down, he thrusted his hips upwards to meet yours, sending your legs trembling and quivering. 

"FUCK~!" You exclaimed, being loud for the first time. A blush crept on your face and you gnawed on your bottom lip, looking at him being pleased with himself for making you cry out. 

"Don't stop." He said, grabbing around you and forcing you up and down on him again. You wrapped your arms around him and dug your nails into his skin, resting your head on his shoulder. 

"Ah, f-fuck Y/n, I'm gonna cum soon." He groaned eventually, moving you faster. 

"Mmmmmm..." You continued going up and down him until he pulled you off of him and came on your thigh. 

"Sorry." 

"It's ok." You watched the liquid drip down your skin. 

"Well not for that, you didn't cum." 

"Oh, I don't really care." 

"Well I do." 


	13. XIII| GOOD VIBRATIONS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 13☆.｡.:*

**_good vibrations_ **

-

-

-

"Seriously Rin, it doesn't matter." 

"Shhhhh." 

He lifted you off of him, like you weighed less than a feather and put you on your back. 

"Rin-" 

"Shhhhhhhhh." 

You rolled your eyes and watched as he crawled down in between your legs and laid on his stomach. He spread your legs, wrapping his hands around the outside of them to hold them open and put his face in your sex. 

A surprised moan escaped your mouth as he stuck out his tongue and teasingly licked your folds softly before going to your clit. He wrapped his mouth around it and started flicking his tongue in a side to side motion. You reached out and clutched onto the bed sheets, leaning your head back as waves of pleasure ran through your body. 

He sucked and lightly grazed his teeth against it, making your leg to twitch and your moaning to grow louder. He moved down a little and shoved his tongue inside you. You arched your back and placed your arm over your eyes, clenching down on your teeth not wanting to be loud like last time. 

You exhaled loudly, chest heaving as he moved his tongue around before pulling out and shoving a finger inside, curling it up and hitting your g-spot. You extended your leg out, tightening around him as he thrusted it in and out, adding two more fingers as time went on. 

You panted and made high pitched squeaky sounds as you felt warm, tingly feeling spread through you until your entire body tensed up and you climaxed, legs shaking from the forcefulness of it, not trying to muffle the sounds that escaped you. 

He rested his elbows on the bed as you panted and came down from your high and rested his chin in the palm of his hands. 

"You look pretty when you're having an orgasm." He said. 

You looked down at him, face still flushed. 

"I swear you say the most embarrassing things." 

He grinned. "What? It's true." He said innocently, batting his eyes. 

You laughed and sat up at the same time as him. "I hate you sometimes." 

He smiled and leaned forward, kissing you on the lips. 

"I know you do." 

-

The next morning, you woke up in Rin's arms and you smiled. You never imagined that the day would come where you would be dating. 

He stirred and rubbed your cold arm. 

"Do we have to go to school?" You mumbled against his chest.

"Unfortunately." 

"I don't wanna go, it's so boring." 

"You want to do something that'll make it way less boring?" You could practically hear the smirk in his voice as you looked up, eyes wide. 

-

"Girl are you okay? Your legs are shaking really hard." 

"V-V-Vibrator." You choked out, leaning against a wall as the vibrations seemed to increase with every passing second. 

"Holy shit! That's hella kinky!!!!" She exclaimed, suddenly reaching out and placing a hand on your lower stomach and gasping loudly. 

"Oh my fucking God, I can literally feel it, how does it feel?" 

"F-Fucking g-good, ah~" A moan escaped you and you slapped a hand over your mouth as Lyla cackled. 

"Oh I'm totally letting Atsumu and Osamu do that shit to me one day." 

"Lyla! Feel sympathy for me, mmmmm~" 

"Where is he anyways?" 

"In the classroom." 

"It works from that far away?" 

"Y-Yea w-w-w-w." Your legs trembled and you leaned against the wall before shoving yourself into Lyla and letting out a series of low, shaky moans in her shoulder. 

"Ah yes, just use me as your moan muffler." 

The feeling felt amazing as the vibrations moved through your core and sent shivers of pleasure all through your body. 

However, you were at school and so this was going to be a hell of an experience. 

_"R-Rin!? Why the hell would we do this at school?_

_"Eh? You said it was boring, so this will make it not boring." He waved it in your face._

_"Why do you even have that!?"_

_"For things like this, now pull down your skirt so I can put this in your underwear."_

_"But, Rinnnnn!" You whined._

_"Just do it Y/n, it'll be fun."_

_"Fine," You huffed, pulling off your skirt and underwear, "I swear if I moan in class, I'm gonna break up with you."_

_"Honestly, that would be kind of hot."_

_"Rin!" You punched him in the arm as he placed the vibrator down and pulled your underwear and skirt up._

_He laughed. "I was only joking."_

_"Mhmmm, sure you were." You grumbled._

_"Now, Y/n."_

_You looked at him with big eyes and he placed his hand on your face, squishing your cheeks together._

_"We're going to do this all day."_

_You opened your mouth to retort but he placed a finger over your mouth. "Whenever you cum, I'm gonna stop it though and let you relax but then I'll start it back over again."_

_You puffed out your cheeks and he kissed you._

_"Do you understand? Yes?" He nodded your head for you, "Or no." He shook your head for you._

_You nodded your head and he kissed you once more before letting go of your face._

And now you were stuck in this predicament, mind filled with hormones and horny thoughts and a devilish boyfriend who loved seeing you squirm. 


	14. XIV| SUPPLY CLOSET

☆.｡.:*Chapter 14☆.｡.:*

**_supply closet_ **

-

-

-

Rin lifted his head up off the desk as you walked a little sideways into the classroom and smirked, tracing his eyes down to your visibly shaking legs. 

You made sure the teacher's back was turned and you flipped him off before scampering to your seat. You regretted your decision in doing that because as soon as you sat down, he turned it up another level. 

You grit your teeth together and shoved your hand in between your thighs, squeezing them together, and covered your face with your other hand. Your legs began trembling harder and you had to hold back your whimpers as you felt yourself on the edge of your climax. 

You bit down hard on your bottom lip, your entire body tensed up, and you leaned back as you reached the top of your release. You felt the vibrations stopped and you slumped forward in your seat, forehead resting against the desk top, slightly panting. 

You felt your phone go off and you shakily retrieved it and looked at it. 

**To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_that was cute_

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

_shut up_

You felt the vibrator start again at the lowest setting and a weird noise escaped you as you scrambled to text him. 

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

_OK OK I'M SORRY  
STOPPPPPPPPPP  
_ _PLEASEEEEEEEEE_

He stopped it and you relaxed again as the bell rang and the teacher began teaching Japanese. 

As class went on, you began to feel back to normal but you didn't want him to turn it back on, because even though it felt extremely good, you didn't want to accidentally moan in class. 

That would be embarrassing. 

-

It was now math and your eyes flickered to Suna who was sneaking his phone out when the teacher wasn't looking. 

**To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_are you ready?_

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

 _no_ ❤

 **To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_are you still sensitive or something?_

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

_well no but---_

You almost cried out whenever you saw him stuck his hand in his pocket and fiddle around with the remote, the faint vibrations starting once more. You knew that he was going to turn it up sooner or later so you attempted to calm down until the teacher called on you. 

"Y/n can you tell me the answer to this?" 

"Ye-" You flinched as he turned it up halfway, not even looking back at you. You cursed him internally and began slightly tremoring. 

"I-It's t-t-thirteen." You stammered, a blush spreading across your face. 

She nodded and wrote the answer down on the board before turning back to you. 

"Are you ok? You look a little flustered." 

"Y-Yea, I-I'm f-f-fine." You glared at the back of Suna's head. 

-

Finally, finally it was after school and at this point you were an absolute mess. You felt a little numb, your face felt like it was on fire, your entire body was shaking, and you were extremely horny. 

You had been counting how many times you orgasmed, but lost count at 5. 

"Do you need me to carry you or something, your legs look like they're about to give up." Lyla said, looking at your legs trembling uncontrollably. He had stopped it whenever he went to practice but you had something up your sleeve. 

You just lazily shook your head, not even able to talk and she patted the top of your head in comfort. 

"G-G-Gym." You choked out. 

"Gym?" 

You nodded your head and she smirked a little. 

"What are you planning Y/n?" 

"S-Something." 

"I'm basically reading your mind right now and if you do what I think you're about to do, you're not going to be able to walk for two weeks." 

"Good, t-then I won't h-have to go t-to school." 

"I pray for your legs🙏🛐" She said, before linking arms with you and you both began walking to the gym, "Ooooo, I can't wait to see Tsumu and Samu!" She squealed. 

You walked in the gym, the only people there were: Suna, Atsumu, Osamu, and Aran. Lyla squealed and let go of you, running to Osamu and jumping into his arms. 

You stumbled a little before stalking over to Suna who looked up at you smiling innocently. 

"Hey babe." 

"I'm mad at you, I want revenge." 

"What kind-" You abruptly turned and sat down heavily on his lap and he flinched. 

"Y/n~" He said in a threatening sort of way, "Get off." 

"No." 

"Stop being a brat, you're gonna make me hard." 

"That's the point." You said, moving your hips against him, the other boys in the gym distracted by Lyla's antics. 

You heard him grunt a little and something started rising under you (and it wasn't Jesus). 

You smirked inwardly to yourself. 

"Well my job here is done." You said about to get up when he clasped his arms around, holding you down. 

"Not so fast sunshine, I have to punish you for making me hard." He whispered in your ear, a low rumble in his voice. 

"Um, I'm sorry?" You giggled sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck nervously and sticking out your tongue :p

"As cute as that was, I'm still not letting you off the hook. You're horny aren't you?" 

"Well yea but-" 

He grabbed your hand and pulled you off of him, dragging you into the supply closet and closing the door. 

"Rin!" 

"What?" He asked guiltlessly, stalking towards you and pushing you against the wall. You could feel his bulge against your stomach as you looked down at you with smoldering eyes. 

"They'll hear!" You exclaimed weakly. 

"Then I guess you shouldn't be too loud, right?" 

He leaned down and kissed you, lifting up your chin with his pointer finger and reached around, pulling up your skirt and grabbing your ass. 

"Damn you're fucking soaked, Y/n." He murmured against you as he rubbed his fingers against your underwear. 

He turned you around so that your face was against the wall. He pulled your panties to the side and you heard the rustle of him pulling down his shorts. He reached his hand around the rest on your lower stomach and thrusted into you. 

You bit down on your bottom lip and leaned your head back as he began moving deep inside you. With each thrust your moans got louder. He leaned his head down to your neck and covered the side with hickeys and bite marks until he slowed down. 

"Y/n you have to be quiet or else everyone will hear what a horny slut you are~" He purred, biting down on your earlobe. 

"I-I-I c-c-can't." You whimpered as he grabbed onto your hips and slammed you against him. 

He shoved his hand over your mouth and continued railing into you, your moans vibrating against his hand. He groaned in your ear, the noise filling your body with shivers and you clutched onto the wall and released around him.

"That's c-cute, my groans make you cum." He said, thrusting into you harder before pulling out. He turned you around and pushed you down on your knees. 

You stroked his dick and wrapped your mouth around it, taking it to the back of your throat attempting not to gag around it. You sucked him off until he came and you were about to swallow when he stopped you. 

"Wait, don't swallow." 

You looked up at him, tears making trails down your face and raised an eyebrow. 

"Stick out your tongue." 

You looked at him feeling embarrassed and stuck out your tongue, his face turned a little red as you tried to keep it inside. 

When you were done, he walked out first, leaving you in a heap on the floor before you collected yourself and stumbled out of the closet. 

All of their eyes widened (minus Suna who was just smirking proudly) at your messy hair, watery eyes, flushed face, the hickeys on your neck, and wrinkled clothes. 

"Well this is where I go!" Lyla chirped, jumping up and kissing both Atsumu and Osamu on the cheek and grabbing you, practically dragging you across the floor and out of the gym.


	15. XV| DISTANT

☆.｡.:*Chapter 15:☆.｡.:*

**_distant_ **

-

-

-

🏐~~~りんたろう~~~🏐

_2 weeks later---_

"Ly, I miss Rin." You say, on the phone. 

You were laying down in a cocoon of blankets, shivering. 

"I know, but he has nationals soon and so he's busy." 

"I know! But it's been 2 weeks!" 

"Yea, I'm pretty pissed too." She laughed a little, "I miss Tsumu and Samu." She said with a little whine in her voice. 

"Maybe we should text them." 

"But that would be weird for me, since we're not even dating." 

"And when has that stopped you before?" 

"HAH! That's true, ok lets do it babe." 

You put the phone on speaker phone and you could hear Lyla's faint breathing on the other side of the phone as you typed out a message. 

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

_hey cutieeee, can you come  
over after practice plssss????_

**To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_no_

"This motherfucker said no." I said in a monotonous voice and Lyla laughed. 

"I'm sure he was joking, Atsumu said they can after practice." 

I sighed. 

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

_why?_

**To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_i was there literally 2  
weeks ago _

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

 _that's a long ass time_ 🧍‍♂️

 **To: Y/n**   
**From: Rin** 🥰

_ok and? I've been  
practicing and I'm   
_

_tired._

**To: Rin** 🥰  
 **From: Y/n**

 _i know but I miss you_ 🥺

 **To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🥰

_just give me some space damn  
all you ever want me to do   
is come over every day you're  
being so clingy and annoying  
and you're always bothering  
me when you know that I've  
gotten busier with volleyball,  
just leave me alone_

You sucked in a sharp breath and a weird mixture of an exclamation and anger came from you. 

"Y/n? What's wrong?" 

You sat up in bed, rereading what he had just sent you. 

"Y/n?" 

"This fucker." You said with disbelieving laughter. 

"Oh God, what did he say?" 

You read it with a shaking voice and she made a disgusted noise and started babbling about how she was going to chop his dick off while you texted him back. 

**To: Rin** 🖕  
 **From: Y/n**

 _me wanting to spend time with  
my boyfriend is annoying?_🙄✋

 **To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rin** 🖕

_you're always hanging all over  
me and it's getting annoying,   
just stop talking to me _

**To: Rintaro Suna** 🖕  
 **From: Y/n**

_fine_

You slammed the phone down on your nightstand, fuming while listening to Lyla's nails tap across the screen. 

_'The audacity, the impertinence.'_ You thought to yourself, huffing and pouting

_Ding!_

You picked up your phone. 

**To: Y/n**  
 **From: Rintaro Suna** 🖕

 _idk she's just been getting  
_ _on my nerves and getting  
_ _kinda annoying i don't  
_ _think we should have  
_ _started dating-- i've been  
_ _watching your girl tho._

 **To: Rintaro Suna** 🖕  
 **From: Y/n**

_are you fucking_

_serious right now?_ _  
_

_Read 8:30pm_

"WHAT THE FUCK! Y/N TELL SUNA TO BACK THE FUCK OFF! I'M A LOYAL BITCH!" You heard a burst of anger from your phone. 

"What? What? What happened?" You asked in a daze, trying not cry. 

"Your crusty ass boyfriend just texted me saying-" 

"I don't want to hear it, I already know." 

"Wait how?" 

"Obviously I'm not good enough for him so he found someone else and I guess that someone's you. We're best friends though and I know you would never do something like to me." You said all of this with your voice devoid of any emotion. 

"Y/n-" 

"It's fine, I'm gonna go now, ok? Have a good rest of the night." 

She tried to say something but you ended the call. 

Sure, the first text message had hurt really bad, but seeing that text message that wasn't even meant for you in the first place, taunted you and laughed at you from the screen. 

You clutched onto your chest, a sharp pain beginning to bloom above your left breast, your breathing pattern became sporadic and shaky as you inhaled, the pain seeming to grow with every passing second. 

This can't be fucking happening, this is a dream.

Why would he say that? How long has he been losing feelings? It's only been two weeks, how much could change in that period of time? 

Your eyes started to burn and you shoved a hand over your mouth to muffle the small sob that escaped you. 

This isn't real. 

It's not fucking real. 

_Ding!_

You looked at your phone, eyesight becoming slightly blurry and with shaking hands you picked it up to a text from Atsumu. 

**To: Y/n  
** **From: Tsumu** 🐄🐝

_ur boyfriends a fucking  
douche bag _

**To: Tsumu 🐄🐝**   
**From: Y/n**

_?_

**To: Y/n  
From: Tsumu **🐄🐝

_those fucking texts  
he sent you, the   
second one was meant  
for me but he said   
something else that  
i'm glad he didn't   
accidentally text  
you _

**To: Tsumu 🐄🐝  
From: Y/n **

_?? what was  
it _

**To: Y/n  
From: Tsumu 🐄🐝**

_i'm sure he didn't  
mean it, he's just  
frustrated right   
now _

**To: Tsumu** 🐄🐝  
 **From: Y/n**

_just fucking tell  
me _

**To: Y/n  
From: Tsumu** 🐄🐝

_he said "I'm losing  
feeling and i don't  
know how to break  
off whatever we had" _

"Whatever we had, huh?" You whispered to yourself, "Oh." 


	16. XVI| BREAK UP

☆.｡.:*Chapter 16:☆.｡.:*

**_break up_ **

-

-

-

"Y/n.... hey Y/n?" 

You groaned angrily and rolled to the other side, burying yourself deeper in the covers. 

Your head was pounding and your throat felt dry, possibly from the many tears that had fallen last night. You had shoved your head in your pillow but that couldn't muffle how loud you were being, you felt heartbroken--- but mostly you felt numb after last night. 

Those hurtful words he said had stabbed you in the heart, leaving an open, gaping, oozing wound that you didn't know how to heal. You swallowed hard and you couldn't help that as soon as you opened your eyes, a few tears dripped out and hit the mattress. 

"Hey hon, it's ok." You heard Lyla's soothing voice. You felt a dip in the bed and then someone rubbing small comforting circles in your back. 

The kind gesture only made you feel more choked up and you turned over and hugged around her waist, the floodgates breaking once more. 

The tears came out like sharp blades and knives piercing your face, your wails echoed throughout the room. You felt embarrassed by your behavior but you couldn't stop how much pain you were in. 

Surely this wasn't that big of a deal, right? 

Other people were dealing with more detrimental issues than you, right? 

World hunger, poverty, lack of clean water, lack of clothes, lack of care---- all of those problems seemed so much larger compared to your infinitesimal one, but you just felt so---- so despondent. 

"Y/n it's going to be okay, alright? I'm here for you." 

"H-H-He---" You got interrupted by more whimpers and sobs and you could hardly speak. Your body felt so heavy, your chest was aching, you couldn't stop the hail of knives that were stabbing you over and over again. 

"Hey I know, I'll stay with you all day, it's the weekend so we can just stay in bed if you want to, yea?" 

You nodded your head and she crawled under the covers, holding you to her chest as you laid there, feeling as if your entire world was crashing around you. 

He said he was looking at another girl. 

He said that you were annoying. 

He said that he shouldn't have started dating you. 

He could've just stabbed you in the back and it would have hurt less. 

W-Why would he say those things? 

{⋅. ✯ .⋅} 

A weekend passed and the new week was among you. 

Lyla had been so sweet to you and now she was just being insufferable. 

"COME ON Y/N, FLAUNT YO SHIT AND SHOW HIM WHAT HE'S MISSING! SHOW OFF YOUR THICK THIGHS AND SHAKE SOME ASSSSSS!" She hit you over and over again with a pillow, trying to get you out of bed. 

"No." You grumbled and tugged your blanket over your head as she hit you again. 

"Please Y/n, do it for me. The twins and I are both worried for your sake, just show up to school for today and if you have to leave early or if you don't want to go to school tomorrow then you can, just come for today." 

She shoved the blanket off of you and pet your matted hair. 

"It's early so take a shower and get dressed, I'll treat you to breakfast at the café!!!!!!!!" 

You peeked an eye out. "Coffee and muffin?" 

She nodded her head, bouncing on the sole of her shoes and you rolled out, rubbing your fatigued eyes and attempting to run a hand through her snarled hair, your fingers getting stuck about halfway. 

You sweatdropped and hunched over, walking to the bathroom where you proceeded to take a while getting ready, attempting to not look like you've cried all weekend. 

{⋅. ✯ .⋅} 

"You look better." She complimented you as you walked out, with a towel wrapped around you, water dripping off on the floor as you shuffled out. 

You quickly got dressed in your school uniform, Lyla frowning when you put a hoodie on and covered your face, but not saying anything. 

"Ok babes let's go!" She waved her car keys around and you grimaced. 

"Lyla, you're scary when you drive." 

"What!? No I'm not!" 

"You ran into that stop sign." 

"Ok that was one time!" 

"You also did a U-turn when it said no U-turn and almost hit a car." 

"That's a mistake anyone would make and besides, the school isn't far from here. I'll make sure your majesty is safe all the way to our grand institution." 

"Ok, ok." You mumbled, grabbing your bag and dragging it across the floor as you and Lyla stepped outside and into her white BMW i8. 

{⋅. ✯ .⋅} 

"Ok just remember to act like you don't care." She said as you both stared up at the school building. 

"But I do." 

"But act like you don't." 

"I'm not good at acting." 

"Ok then act like you're good at acting and act like you don't care, jeez Y/n!" 

"Hey don't be harsh, imagine if Atsumu and Osamu did this shit to you." 

"Ohohoho, if they had done this to me, they would already be dismembered and buried in my backyard." 

You looked up at her with wide eyes and scooted away, heading up to the school. 

"What!? Hey Y/n!" 

You shoved your hands in your hoodie pockets and shoved the door open, immediately being graced by the sight of Suna hanging all over a girl. 

Lovely. 

You stalked past him and you could see out of your peripheral vision, him look at you and act like he wanted to say something. 

"Yo Y/n!" 

"...." 

You continued walking until you heard footsteps running behind you and someone turning your around. You didn't grace him with your eyesight and stared sort of off to the side. 

"Y/n look at me." 

"...." 

"Goddamnit Y/n." He sighed in exasperation. 

"...." 

"Well I just wanted to let you know that we're through." 

Ouch. 

"So yea, I didn't want you to keep on throwing yourself at me in an attempt to get back tog- hey!" 

You had nodded your head and turned on your heels, already about ten feet away from him. 

"Tch whatever." He scoffed. 


	17. XVII| A DEVIOUS PLAN

☆.｡.:*Chapter 17:☆.｡.:*

**_a devious plan_ **

-

-

-

You were leaning against a wall, waiting for Lyla to take you home when you heard three people walking up to you. You looked up and immediately felt exasperated by the twins' and Lyla's Cheshire cat grins that were looking down at you with the most deceitful intentions behind them. 

"Who did you guys kill?" You sighed. 

"Well we wanted to kill Suna but we felt like you wouldn't like that." 

You shrugged your shoulders. "I mean---" 

"Oh my God, anyways we made a plan." Lyla said, smirk growing wider. 

"A devious plan." Atsumu said with an equally evil smirk, "Did I use that right?" He asked Lyla. 

"Yes you did a good job honey." She smiled lovingly at him. 

"Yea bye." You started shuffling away from their mischievous aura when Lyla grabbed your arm, pulling you back, much to your dismay. 

"It involves getting back at Suna~" She sang in a dangerous tone. 

Your ear perked up. "What is it?" 

"You're dating Atsumu now." 

"Hah?" 

"Yer mine now hehe." He said, walking up to you and slinging his arm around your shoulder. 

"Woah, this is an interesting plan." You said, standing limply against him. 

"Yea but don't get too comfortable, he's still mine." Lyla pointed at you and you raised your arms in mock surrender. 

"I still don't know how this is going to benefit me, this just sounds like petty middle school stuff. If I'm going to fake a relationship, I might as well be with someone who isn't "claimed" by anyone. I'll just continue moping around until eventually I get so depressed I'll have to drop out of school." You mumbled and they all blinked at you. 

"Fine then I'll allow you guys to fuck." She said, crossing her arms and scrunching her lips thoughtfully, "And you're NOT dropping out." 

"Woah woah woah." You said, "That's not necessary." 

"Eh? Why do you look so disgusted by that thought?" He said with a look of fake hurt on his face. 

"Oh shut it." You looked up at him with a 'wtf' face. 

"Ok anyways, let's all go to the gym and then Tsumu you kiss Y/n and then we'll both leave." 

"Kiss!? Me and Ri- Suna just broke up, he won't believe it if---" 

"Shhhh, did you not see him kiss that girl on the cheek this morning?" 

"Huh?" 

"Yea that blonde bitch he was hanging all over." 

You clenched your fist tightly. "Fine, but only because I'm pissed now." 

"I'll beat her up for you." She said, cracking her knuckles. 

"What? Why would you do that? It's not like we're dating, she didn't do anything wrong, I'm pissed at Suna for antagonizing me." You said, with a faint hint of sadness in your voice. 

"Wow, you are way more mature than me." She said, looking at you in awe. 

You facepalmed and she clapped her hands together quickly. "Yay!" She exclaimed, linking arms with Osamu and sauntering away with him. 

You looked up at the tall boy who was smiling cutely down at you. 

"Well at least I'm in a fake relationship with you instead of some weirdo." You said as you both began walking to the gym. 

"We originally asked Kita but he said no because he didn't want to get involved with drama and hurt "one of his friends." He rolled his eyes, waving his hand around, "And then he yelled at us for like a million years for involving _ourselves_ in the drama." 

"Even after you told him what he did to me?" You asked, curiously. 

"Well--- he was tempted but he likes to stay out of those things." 

"Hmmmm." You hummed, feeling nervous as you got closer to the gym, he felt you get tense and he ruffled your hair. 

"Don't be nervous Y/n-chan, what's the worst he can do?" 

"Um--- spike a volleyball at my face? Or your face?" 

"I'll protect you and I'm perfectly capable of protecting my beautiful face." 

"You're ugly." Osamu called out. 

"WE HAVE THE SAME FACE! WE'RE TWINS!" He yelled in irritation and you laughed out for the first time in a while and he stopped yelling and smiled again at you. 

"Anyways I'll make sure he doesn't hurt you anymore." 

"Aw, thanks fake boyfriend." You both laughed at how ridiculous this situation was and you noticed a small gaggle of girls glaring at both of you and Lyla who were embraced in the twins' arms. 

When you walked into the gym, you sucked in a breath of air and watched as Lyla continually flirted with Osamu like she did every day. 

You saw out of your peripheral vision Suna look up and then do a double take, eyes wide as Atsumu reached down and hugged you, hands resting on your lower back. You wrapped your arms around his neck, smiling slightly into his shoulder. 

"It's gonna be ok, right?" He mumbled in your ear. 

You nodded your head and he pulled away, pressing his lips against yours for 2 short seconds, before pulling away. 

"See you later, _babe_ ~" 

You waved your arm in a daze and then looked at Lyla, your facial expression turning to irritation. She was making out furiously with Osamu and you tapped on her shoulder impatiently. 

She waved her hand and held up a finger. You pinched the bridge of your nose waiting for her to finish when you heard footsteps walking up to you. 

"Really Y/n? One of my friends?" You heard his voice say, coated with hurt. 

"You can call me L/n, Suna." You said shortly, shoving your hands in your pocket, he made a noise of disbelief as Lyla pulled away from Osamu and grabbed your arm yanking you out of the gym. 

The last thing you heard as you stepped out was: 

"What? I did say that if you didn't do something then I would steal her, and you gave me the perfect opportunity for it..." 


	18. XVIII| A NEW FRIEND

☆.｡.:*Chapter 18 :☆.｡.:*

**_a new friend_ **

-

-

-

Lyla reached over and placed her hand on your thigh. 

"Just know it's going to be okay, babes." 

You nodded your head miserably and stepped outside, blinking in the sudden sunlight and noticing something right off the bat. 

"No fucking way." You whisper, seeing your parents red Ferrari in the driveway, "Holy fuck they're back!" You squealed, running up to your house and flinging open the door. 

"MOMMY!? FATHER!?" 

"Darling!" Your beautiful mother held her arms out and you ran into them, hugging around her slim figure and breathing in her scent laced with Chanel No. 5, "How are you my dear daughter?" 

"I'm great now that you're here! How was the fashion show?" 

Your mother was a fashion designer for an extremely popular and expensive designer store in Japan. The stores were distributed worldwide and she frequently had to leave for fashion shows or to pick out a new location. Your father was the executive manager of her company, L/n Designs and so obviously he had to go with her, which is why you were left alone for long stretches of time. 

Your mother was absolutely gorgeous, having been a model through her high school and college years. Flowing mouse brown hair that was perfectly wavy, creamy skin, and piercing blue eyes. You on the other hand got most of your fathers looks, who was still handsome with your (H/C) hair and (E/C) eyes. 

"Mother...." You said, looking at her exasperated after she described in extreme detail everything that had happened. 

"Dear--- I know what you're going to say." 

"Why the _HELL_ have you not contacted me for 3 MONTHS! I WAS WORRIED SICK!" 

She laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of her neck as you ranted and raved about how lonely and worried you were. 

"I'm sorry darling, things just go so busy and by the end of the day, your father and I were just so tired we never responded to your messages. I am deeply sorry my dear." 

"I needed you the most this past week." You mumbled, hanging your head down.

She embraced you, pressing your face against her breasts and began stroking your hair. 

"I'm sorry dear, but, you can tell me all about that tonight after supper! And before I tell you what we have planned, me and your father bought you something as a way of penance for our negligence." 

You sighed as she took your under her arm and began walking you with her elegant steps into the living room where your father was slumped on the couch, snoring loudly. 

"He sounds terrifying." You said looking at him with wide eyes. 

"Yes, well, that's what jet lag will do to you." She said looking in sympathy towards your father, patting your back lightly. 

There was a small brown box on the ground with some holes punched in the side and it was vibrating a little. 

"Um?" You questioned and moved to sit down next to it. You opened it rather easily and the most adorable brown Labrador puppy shot out and began licking your face. 

"Oh MY GOD!" You squealed, giggling as it jumped on your chest and attacked your face with kisses. The noise affected your father and he jolted awake with a loud snort and then he smiled, rubbing his tired eyes. 

"You like him?" 

"Like him!? I LOVE HIM!" 

"We know that we're always away and we're leaving pretty soon actually and so we bought you a new friend so you won't be as lonely." 

"Thank you!" You exclaimed, cuddling the puppy to your chest and cooing at it as it squirmed around with short, cute barks. 

Your mother clapped her hands together quickly, her bracelets clinking. "And we're having (favorite food) for dinner, your favorite! And even better news, we've invited someone over to dine with us this evening." 

"Oh? And who is that?" 

"My darling Rintaro! It's been so long since I've seen that handsome face, I hope you don't mind dear. Of course you don't, you're best friends! Well up to your room you go, and take the dog with you, we'll call you when he gets here!" She babbled, pushing you up the stairs, completely unaware of how your mood dampened. 

You shuffled up the stairs, head hanging sadly and some rage boiled up that you would have to see him in your house after everything he had done to you. 

The impertinence of him accepting that invitation! 

You huffed angrily and slammed your door closed and began ripping all of the pictures of you two off the wall and threw them in the wastebasket. Your dog watched all of this with confused eyes until you sank into your mattress, holding the bottom of your palms to your eyes and whimpering a little. 

He walked up to you, tail wagging and laid his head down in your lap. 


	19. XIX| FUCK YOU

☆.｡.:*Chapter 19:☆.｡.:*

**_fuck you_ **

-

-

-

_Knock. Knock. Knock_

You jolted awake, your puppy made a squeaky yawn and crawled off your chest, ambling over to your pillow, curling up and falling back asleep. 

"Darling, Rintaro is here, come say hello." Your mothers soothing voice laced with a strange accent said. 

"No." You mumbled to wear she wouldn't be able to hear you. 

When you heard her dainty, low heels clicking on the stairs, heading back down, you got up stretching your arms above your head making an unholy screechy sound. 

You slouched forward and rested your hands on the edge of your bed, staring blankly at the ground. 

It wasn't your mother's fault, she had no idea. You just wished that you were able to tell her sooner about everything that had gone down in the past week before she went on a limb and invited your disgusting ex-boyfriend to dinner. 

You pushed yourself off of the bed and padded over to your closet where you stood in front of and stared at the floor. 

_'I was a fucking idiot back then.... why did I have to have feelings for my childhood best friend? Stupid sex closet.'_

You pulled out some baggy jeans and an even baggier sweatshirt, quickly slipping off your crumbled school uniform and slipping on the warm clothes. You let your hair tumble down out of the ponytail you had it in and you opened the door where your fate was awaiting you. 

Waves of nausea and anxiety were rolling through you, mixed with anger causing a bunch of emotions coursing through you that you didn't quite know how to comprehend that well. 

When you stepped off the very last step there he was---

Smiling smugly at you acting like nothing was wrong and nothing was going on between you. 

"Hey Y/n---" He cooed. 

"Suna." You greeted gruffly, upset that he had used your first name after saying to not do it. 

"Suna? What happened to Rin or Suna-chan?" Your mother asked curiously, obviously confused by how distant you were being with him. 

She was used to you always hugging him and hanging all over him, being clingy and now you were standing ten feet away from him, hands in your pocket, and a look of distaste on your expression. 

In response you just shrugged your shoulders and dragged your feet past him and sat heavily on the couch, where you crossed your legs tightly together and stared at the abstract artwork that was nailed on the opposite wall. 

Your mother hummed and her flowy, tulle and silk dress fluttered around her ankles as she clicked over to the other couch and sat down gently, clasping her hands in her lap. 

"So how have you been darling? And please sit down." She told Suna. 

He walked over to your couch and sat too close to you where both of your legs were touching. 

You grimaced and uncrossed your legs, scooting over a couple of inches, your mother raising her eyebrows but not saying anything.

"I've been good Mrs. L/n." He said politely, "Volleyball is doing fine and--- I even have a girlfriend." 

You tensed up as she exclaimed, clapping her hands together. 

"That's so wonderful darling! Who's the lucky one?" 

"Her name is Himari, she goes to our school and she's honestly the best girlfriend I've ever had." 

You could practically hear the smirk in his voice and you stood up abruptly, turning to him and brightly smiling a close-eyed smile. 

"Fuck you~♥" You said cheerfully before walking away and going back upstairs. 


	20. XX| BREAKDOWN

☆.｡.:*Chapter 20:☆.｡.:*

**_breakdown_ **

-

-

-

"Darling?" 

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

You were under your sheets, phone next to you playing The Neighbourhood softly and sobbing loudly into your pillow. 

It fucking _hurt_. 

No matter how tough you tried to act or how badass you may seem to an onlooker, you felt absolutely heartbroken and it was beginning to take its toll on you. 

You didn't understand what you did wrong, why he was acting this way to you, it made no sense. 

_Was I being too clingy?_

_Was I annoying him without knowing?_

_Am I.... am I not good enough?_

Every sob that shook your body felt like something sharp piercing your lungs. You clutched onto your chest as if that was a solution to fixing your aching heart. 

It burned. 

It hurt. 

You began to feel lightheaded from hyperventilating and your vision became blurry. You were completely breaking down and being sent into a spiral of panic and anxiety. It was terrifying, you felt like you were dying. 

"Y/n my dear?" 

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"I-I can't." You choked out, doubting that she heard you. 

She rattled the doorknob before knocking again. 

"Dear, please unlock your door." She said, starting to become impatient. 

You paused the music and got up, your body felt heavy and tired and you unlocked the door, your face flushed and the tears falling uncontrollably down your beautiful face.

"Oh honey what's wrong?" She immediately embraced you. You wrapped her arms around her slim waist and cried into her chest, feeling as if you could never get over him no matter what you tried to do. 

"N-Nothing." You said muffled, wetting the front of her dress. 

You loved her mother more than anything in the world, you loved the times you spent together and cherished it so much but it's the simple fact that she's never there and you didn't want to worry her about your issues while she's out doing the career she loves so dearly. 

"Dear, it's obviously not nothing if you cursed at Rintaro and now you're an absolute sobbing mess." 

"I-It's just I'm so t-tired and I-I l-liked h-him a l-lot." You lied, hugging onto her tighter. 

She stroked your hair. "Oh I wasn't aware that you had a crush on him, I'm sorry darling. If I had known I wouldn't have been so excited about the fact he found a beau." 

"I-It's o-okay, not y-your fault." 

"Well as awkward as it would be, I don't think I can uninvite him but if you're too upset then you can stay up here---" 

"Can I?" 

"Yes." She pulled you off of her and looked down into your red-rimmed eyes. "I'll bring you up some food, how does that sound?" 

You nodded your head and she gave you a small smile, leaning down and giving you a small peck on your forehead before turning and clicking back down the stairs, leaving you outside of your room. 

You slouched over, walking back in your room and curling back up in your burrito of blankets, listening to the small hum of voices downstairs and then someone coming back up the stairs. Your stomach yowled and you turned over, glad that she was bringing you food. 

_Knock. Knock. Knock._

"Come in." You said miserably, covering yourself with your blankets once more. The stream of tears hasn't stopped since your mother's attempt at cheering you up and you couldn't bare to let her see you this miserable. 

It always hurt her whenever her precious daughter was in pain and she couldn't do anything about it. 

The door opened and you sighed loudly, throwing the sheets off and then scrambling up, wiping the tears off of your face. 

"W-What? Get the fuck out of my room!" 


	21. XXI| NUMB THE PAIN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains self harm, read at your own risk

☆.｡.:*Chapter 21:☆.｡.:*

**_numb the pain_ **

-

-

-

"Literally get the fuck out Suna, I don't even want to look at your face right now." You spit out bitterly. 

You started pushing him off of the bed with your foot and he only smirked. 

"Sorry I had no choice darling, your mother told me to come up here and talk to you. So I minded her and came up here." 

"Ok now fucking leave." 

Truth be told, right now Suna's heart was clenching in his chest seeing you like this. Seeing that you had been crying, seeing how depressed you were, it hurt him. 

"Can't do that, you wouldn't want her to get suspicious would you? I know you lied to you and didn't tell her the truth, sunshine." 

"Don't fucking call me that." You spit out angrily. 

"Hmmmm? You don't like your pet names anymore?" 

"...." 

"The silent treatment again, huh?" 

You twisted your mouth upwards, trying to not start crying again as he just looked at you with an amused facial expression, seeming not bothered by how broken he had made you. 

"J-Just w-why did you d-do it?" You stammered, lip quivering. 

He blinked. 

Good question. 

_Why did I do it?_

He really had no answer for that. 

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, I guess I realized that all you were to me was someone who would willingly spread their legs for me without hesitation."

Your jaw dropped open. 

"Honestly I think I really only viewed you as purely something for my personal pleasure and I do appreciate that but your job is done. Move on-" 

_SMACK!_

You lashed out and slapped him across the face, leaving a red handprint. He looked off to the side, clearly shocked that you had retaliated. 

You vibrated with anger, clenching your teeth together and stood up. 

"So everything was a fucking lie? Your confession, saying that you loved me? It was all a lie? Well, that's nice to know, so fucking get out of my room." You said this rapidly with no stop, chest heaving. 

He didn't move. 

"Did you not hear me? Stand up and walk out of my room, my house, and never, _never_ step foot on my property again. Because if you do--- there's a lot of knives in my kitchen that would look really cute embedded in your skin." 

He immediately stood up and walked out, a little freaked out by your sudden attitude change. But, as soon as the door shut, you slapped two hands over your mouth and whimpered, tears forming in your eyes. You dropped to your knees on the floor and rested your head against the wood. 

_Am I really just a pretty face? Just a body?_

_Is that all anyone thinks of me? Just someone that would willingly spread their legs if they say a few nice words to me?_

_Is that really true?_

The sobs were coming more from you as you heard the front door slam shut. 

_How do I make myself feel better?_

_How do I numb the pain?_

_I just want it to go away._

_Please make it go away._

You stood up and drug yourself to your vanity, sitting your heavy body down and opening the drawer. You took out a pair of scissors and stared at them with heavy eyes. 

_This'll numb the pain._

You took the scissors and held your wrist up, digging the blade in and slicing. 

You gasped a little at feeling and the blood welling up slightly but then sighed, doing it again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And again. 

And again. 

Over and over again, coating your right wrist with deep cuts, just trying so hard to not feel what you were feeling right now. 

It burned. 

It distracted from the pain of loss. 

You only stopped when the blood flow got too heavy and you began to feel lightheaded. You dropped the scissors on the ground, they clattered loudly and you grabbed some bandages, wrapping them around your wrist and then looked at yourself in the mirror. 

You were a mess. 

Messy hair, eyes bloodshot, some of your hair was stuck to your face from the tears and you swiped them away. 

_I'm worthless._

_I'm not good enough for anyone._

_I'm worthless._

It hurts. 


	22. XXII| WORTHLESS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self degrading

☆.｡.:*Chapter 22:☆.｡.:*

**_worthless_ **

_-_

_-_

_-_

_Slit my wrists, bloody fist, questioning why I exist. Pain persists, evil gifts, fucking up my life to shit. I'm worthless, I'm worthless, I'm worthless, slit my wrists until I bleed out._

This has become your anthem since that night. 

You played this song on repeat over and over again, you skipped school and you had to act like everything was okay with your parents until they left again. 

And now you were in an empty house once more, but this time it was different--- you had no one. 

Lyla, Atsumu, and Osamu bombarded your phone with texts and calls everyday but even that subsided--- they just stopped trying to contact you, assuming that you wanted to be alone. 

_I could be dead and they wouldn't even know... probably wouldn't care either._ You thought to yourself, raking the blade across your wrist again, wincing in pain as you accidentally hit a vein. 

Your arms were completely covered in white bandages all the way up to your elbows, you took them off every night, did what you had to do to numb the pain and changed them. 

It was a constant cycle of pain and tears and then absolute nothingness. You couldn't even think for yourself anymore, your arms ached, and you couldn't sleep without waking up screaming from things lashing out at you in your nightmares and trying to hurt you. 

_I try to stay strong, no matter what I do, I'm always in the wrong, it never gets easier--- but maybe that's the point. It's part of growing up, messing up and learning from it, that's just life, it's necessary._

You tried to take care of the rest of your body at the beginning but then you stopped caring, you let yourself slowly decompose inside, not bothering eating or drinking. 

_What's the point of eating if I'm just a waste of space on this earth?_

_It doesn't matter if I don't take care of myself because no one will care if I just slowly disappear off the face of the plant, not even Lyla or Atsumu would care--- they're probably friends with Suna again and having the time of their lives._

_No one cares about little ol' me. I mean who would?_

The thought was almost laughable that you had gone your entire life actually believing there were people out there who cared--- but as soon as you broke they just left. 

_All I am is just a pretty face, something that sits still and gets admired by people like an exhibit at a museum, those people unaware that I have feelings too._

_Clinging to hope, what else is there to live for? Got nowhere to go, what else is pain good for? I am confident that your life has a purpose, it's okay, you will get through it. Don't give up 'cause someone needs you._

Who? 

Who needs me? 

Certainly not the love of my life. 

Certainly not my best friend. 

Certainly not my "fake boyfriend" 

No one needs me. 

_I'm worthless._


	23. XXIII| HELL ON EARTH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Self harm in the first paragraph, skip if you'll get triggered!

☆.｡.:*Chapter 23:☆.｡.:*

**_hell on earth_ **

-

-

-

It was 2 am. 

"Fuck--- F-Fuck, why does it still hurt!?" You wailed, digging the knife deeper into your arm, puncturing your skin with the tip of the blade, "WHY CAN'T IT FUCKING GO AWAY!?" You sobbed, tears streaming down your face. 

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Your phone began flashing and beeping like crazy. You dropped the knife and picked it up, seeing that it was your mother attempting to contact you. 

You cleared your throat and wiped away the tears. 

"Hello?" You answered happily. 

"Dear, the school has informed me that you haven't been going to school for the past week and I'm not mad because you're dealing with some stuff but please darling go to school just tomorrow and if you can't handle it, I'll maybe consider letting you be homeschooled, how does that sound?" She said this all quickly, most likely working on something else at the same time. 

You sniffed. "U-Um, yea that sounds okay, I'll go." You began sinking in your chair, not wanting to go at all and you heard someone shouting on the other end of the phone. 

"Ok darling, I love you! I'm sorry but someone misplaced our order from Burberry and Louis Vuitton and I really must go, hugs and kisses." 

"Yea, hugs and kisses." You mumbled and she hung up. 

_Fuck._

You had to do it, since you agreed, your mother didn't ask much of you so whenever she did you always went through with it. 

Butterflies began shooting through your stomach, making you feel nauseous. You sprinted to the bathroom and threw up the small amount of food that you had forced yourself to choke down earlier that day. 

You sat back on your legs and wiped your mouth with your sleeve, staring at a small crack in the wall. You laid down and curled up on the floor, pressing your hot cheek against the cool tile and quickly fell asleep for the first time in a while. 

.

.

You jolted awake and blinked heavily, surprised you had gotten even a few hours of sleep. You looked up at the ticking clock on the wall and read that it was 6:30 am. 

Crawling over to the bathtub, while wincing you turned on the water and ran yourself a bath, not wanting to stand on your feet yet. 

You stripped down and awkwardly climbed in, the water instantaneously turning pink from the blood that was conjugated on your bandages. You unraveled then and dropped them off the side, dipping them in the water and immediately pulling them out, yowling and hissing in pain. 

It fucking _hurt_. 

You slowly put them in once more, wincing and gritting your teeth together, trying to get used to the feeling. While you were at it, you looked down at your body and your heart sank. 

You could count almost all of your ribs, and you could see all the veins running up and down your arms and legs. You ran a hand over the cuts, cleaning off the dried blood and then taking them out of the insufferable water. 

You started crying again whenever you had to wash your hair and the soap ran down your arms, making them burn even more. And yet, it was still a welcome distraction with what you had to do today. 

When you were done, you reached out and grabbed a towel, stepping out onto shaky legs and leaning heavily against the counter, wrapping white bandages up to your upper arm on both of them. You then did the same treatment on your legs, covering just up to the middle of your calf. 

When you reached your room, you sat down on your bed, pulling on some thick black leggings and then sliding your skirt on. You buttoned up your shirt and put on a black hoodie to cover your shameful body and the bandages that lingered on there, reminding you of how disgusting you were. 

To say that you hated yourself was an understatement. You despised yourself, you could barely look at yourself in the mirror without wanting to cry. 

You thought you were just so ugly and gross. 

_No one's ever going to love me, so why should I love myself?_

You put your flat hair in a low ponytail and put your hood on, grabbing your school bag, but not before whimpering at how the cuts stretched out from the weight of it and then you headed to hell on earth. 

.

.

You looked up at the school building. 

It's been a week. 

What could have possibly changed in that period of time? 

You took one step before scrunching your mouth up, wanting to vomit. You swallowed hard and followed a small group of people inside, stepping into the air-conditioned building that smelled like pencil shavings and ammonia. 

"Y/n?" 

You looked up shyly and saw Atsumu, Osamu, and Lyla standing by a row of lockers. 

"Y/N! BABES!" Lyla hollered, sprinting up to you and grabbing you, pulling you to her chest, "I was so worried whenever you never texted us back, we thought that you were sick or something." 

She pulled away and was about to keep talking until she, well all three of them, really looked at you for the first time. 

Dark eye bags, bloodshot eyes, sunken in cheeks, the color drained from your face, the sparkle in your eyes disappeared. 

"Y-Y/n? Are you ok?" Her voice wavered. 

"Yea." Your scratchy voice responded. You were about to turn and walk away, wanting to be alone until she grabbed onto your arm. 

You yelped in pain and she recoiled, staring down at your covered arm. 

"Y/n...." She suddenly reached out and before you knew it, lifted up your sleeves and what she saw there broke her and the two boys' hearts. 

"Y/n." She whimpered, feeling as if she was about to cry, "Why would you-?" 

"I'm fine." You said, turning on your heel and walking away quickly. 


	24. XXIV| KNOCKED UP?

☆.｡.:*Chapter 24:☆.｡.:*

**_knocked up?_ **

-

-

-

You felt your chest tighten up and you clawed against your hoodie, feeling panicked for no particular reason. Everything that had just happened was starting to take its toll on you, nothing had even happened and yet--- yet you just felt like you were so out of control of your body. You felt nothing but at the same time felt so much. 

You were scared to go to class for fear that his cold, uncaring eyes would look over your decrepit body and feel nothing. No remorse for what he had--- no--- it wasn't his fault. 

It was your fault for believing somebody could love you for who you were. 

A small whimper slipped out of you and you grabbed onto the sleeve of your hoodie, wanting nothing more than to go back home where you didn't have to feel the judgmental and disapproving looks piercing into you sharper than any knife could. 

When you walked into the classroom he wasn't in there and neither was Lyla. You assumed that she was still with the twins and you began to feel a faint relief until the looks you got from your fellow classmates became to unbearable to handle. 

Sure, you had assumed there would be some looks considering you skipped school for a week and you looked as if death had taken its hold on you and was dragging you along until eventually when the time was right, you would slip away from this world forever. 

But no, these looks were different. 

Critical stares, disgusted stares, hisses of whispers sounding like snakes slithering through the room. 

You were confused, but you sat down anyways. 

The only person who didn't seem bothered by your presence was your teacher, in fact, she looked happy that you were back in her classroom. 

"Good morning, L/n! It sure has been dull without your antics with Lyla for the past week." She chirped, smiling happily at you. 

You nodded your head, your facial expression not changing. The only thing you could really concentrate on was the whispers gradually increasing as he walked in. 

You looked down at your desk but you could feel him staring at you. You couldn't though. 

You couldn't look at him for fear that you may break down in front of everyone, not being able to control the flow of emotions fizzing up inside you. 

_God, these damn whispers! Why are they so loud!_

You fought the urge to cover your ears and you felt yourself becoming overwhelmed and you wished that you could just be back home--- back home with your dog and the only thing that can help you numb the pain. 

"So where have you been?" The teacher asked, still talking to you. 

You opened your mouth to say a vague, distant answer but one of your classmates beat you to it. 

"She got knocked up clearly, just look at her, wearing a sweatshirt to cover up the bump." 

The class snickered and finally they had the balls to stare directly at you instead of whispering in their small groups. 

"W-What?" You said quieter than a mouse and you were surprised they had even heard you. 

"You got knocked up by Suna, he told everyone and he said that you were staying home because you were ashamed. I would be too if I was pregnant in high school." 

The laughter grew louder and you felt the terrifying beginnings of a panic attack began boiling up inside you and that's when you finally decided to look at him. 

He didn't even have the courage to look you in the eyes, instead he was staring straight forward at the front of the classroom where the teacher was yelling at everyone to be quiet. 

A piercing ringing filled your ears and muffled everything, it sounded like you were at a beach and the waves were crashing around you, drowning out the sounds of the outside world. 

"L/n what's your problem? You should've known that it was eventually going to come out, you can't hide something like that." The same classmate taunted you with an infuriatingly cocky voice. 

_Why was he being so mean?_

_I didn't do anything!_

_I didn't do anything to deserve this!_

_Why does everyone hate me for no reason?!_

Small whispers in the back of my mind similar to the ones in the classroom currently began whispering things over and over and over again, sending you into a spiral of anxiety. 

_It's because you're alive_

_Why are you even still alive?_

_No one cares about you_

_Just die already._


	25. XXV| INTERFERENCE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/ attempted suicide
> 
> (I'll put this: ⚠️ when it's about to happen and then I'll put it again when it's over)

☆.｡.:*Chapter 25☆.｡.:*

**_interference_ **

-

-

-

You stood up abruptly and staggered out of the classroom, the teacher not even stopping you from walking out. 

It was too much. 

Home. 

Home.

_I have to go home now._

"Y/n!" 

You kept on walking away in a daze, not really understanding what was happening with your surroundings. You could barely hear the voice calling your name until someone grabbed onto your shoulder, whirling you around. 

You looked up and saw Atsumu staring down at you with a worried expression. 

"What's wrong? And where are you going?" 

"Home." You said hoarsely, trying to turn back around but he was obviously stronger than you, especially in the current state of shambles your body was suffering from. 

"Y/n." 

"What?" You said, your voice a little high-pitched and he suddenly yanked you forward, hugging around your upper arms. 

Your arms dangled awkwardly by your sides and your face was pressed into his chest. 

"It'll be okay." 

"No it won't." 

"Trust me, it will." 

"No---" You whispered. 

Everything that had been keeping your blood pounding through your veins had vanished slowly over time like a puddle from a previous rainfall, being soaked up by the fervent sunlight. The puddle had vanished like your will to live, to keep breathing, to keep moving. 

The rumors surrounding you being pregnant were too much to bare, too much to handle. Your grip on reality was slipping from your fingertips, crashing around you like a crystal vase. The shards of glass tinkling and spreading across the floor where it would be almost impossible to find all of them. 

You felt as if you were falling into terrifying bottomless chasm, just falling and falling and falling with no stop. Your screams being swallowed up by evil murkiness that surrounded your body, you looked up at the sky that seemed to travel down the rabbit hole with you and lifted your arm up, watching as the bandages unraveled by an invisible hand, revealing the angry cuts on your arms. 

The cool wind felt nice against them and you finally calmed down, closing your eyes and allowing your body to relax, allowing your body to continue plummeting down the abyss. 

"You're right Tsumu, I will be fine." You say, pulling away from the boy and looking up at him. 

"Really?" He seemed shocked that your attitude seemed to change and ever more so when he saw the tranquility that suddenly overtook your body. 

You nodded your head and turned around, feeling lighter than you had in a long time. 

Before, every time you walked or moved you felt like you had weights attached to your ankles and wrists. But now, finally your mind was clear and you felt _so_ much better. 

Your walk home consisted of the skies opening up and raining down on you. You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and pulled down your hood, looking up at the sky and felt the raindrops hit your face and slide down in streams. You pulled up your sleeves and unwrapped the bandages that covered half of your arm, letting them drop in the middle of the sidewalk. 

You held them out, allowing the cool rain to hit them, soothing the burning skin. You closed your eyes and breathed in the sweet aroma of petrichor that eddied and billowed around you, permeating the air. 

You walked lightly to your house and stepped inside the front door, your dog whimpering at your ankles as you walked up the stairs, looking forward and walked into the bathroom, closing the door to lock out your dog. 

You stripped out of your soaking hoodie and let it drop to the floor, you looked blankly at the cuts on your stomach and opened the medicine cabinet, your hands beginning to tremble as you rummaged looking for your mothers painkillers that she was prescribed for her back and took them out. 

You looked at the clear yellow bottle with a white sticker wrapped around it and saw it was about halfway full and opened it, your entire body beginning to quiver in a mixture of fear and excitement. 

⚠️ _skip over this part if you'll get triggered!_

You breathed in through your nose and let out a small exhale, leaning your head back and letting the capsules--- one by one--- drop into your mouth until you had about nine and you swallowed painfully, going back up and swallowing a few more of them. 

You let the bottle drop to the ground, some of the pills that were still in there scattering on the floor and you coughed, gagging from the chalky taste in your mouth. You pressed your back to the bathroom wall and gagged once more, your body trying to eject the poison you used to harm your body. 

You slapped a hand to your mouth and swallowed repeatedly. 

Your body began convulsing, your breathing coming out in sporadic waves, your pupils began dilating. A ringing filled your ears that was so loud you didn't hear when someone opened the door to your house and began sprinting up your stairs. 

At the point you were sprawled out on the ground on your side, your entire body tremoring and a weird choking sound coming from the back of your throat. 

⚠️ _it's over_

The door to your bathroom suddenly opened, your leg getting caught on the door and a small scream filled your ears, only adding to the bells clanging. 

The bottle of pills got kicked across the floor and your best friend rushed over to your body. 

"Y/n! Y/n! Oh my fucking God! Atsumu call a damn ambulance!" Her voice sounded muffled as your body shut down and you were cast into a world of darkness. 


	26. XXVI| WHY AM I STILL ALIVE?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw/ another attempted suicide

☆.｡.:*Chapter 26☆.｡.:*

**_why am i still alive?_ **

-

-

-

You had been hoping to wake up in the afterlife, finally not able to feel pain and just float around in a void where you could finally be at peace.

However, that wasn't the case---

You woke up instead, your entire body wracked with pain and the blinding lights of a hospital room making the pain in your head grow more. You stared at the ceiling and felt yourself tearing up, before completely breaking down. 

"Y/n? Oh my God, you're awake!" Lyla ran up to your bedside and sat down, holding onto your hands. 

"Why are you crying?" She asked softly. 

" _I'm still alive_." You sobbed, " _why am I still alive?_ "

The hurt that ran through her at this point was so great that she had to hold back her own tears to stay strong for you. 

"D-Don't say that love." She held your arms up and buried her face in your hands, "You're going to be okay." 

"No I'm not!" You wailed, "Why did you stop me! I wanted to die, why can't I just be at peace!? I should've locked the damn door!" 

Those words sunk deep into her soul and they hurt her so much, so much that her best friend who had been there for her when no one else was, her best friend that was there for her through thick and thin could only think about how she should've locked the door in order to successfully end her life. 

Lyla let go of your hands and stood up, backing out of the room while you sat there and continually sobbed. Her right hand was bandaged up, a small fission in her knuckle from punching Suna square in the nose earlier that day. 

- _Flashback_ \- 

"Hey Ly!" 

"What's up Tsumu?" She turned around and looked at the tall male who stared down at her with a worried countenance. 

"I think somethings wrong with Y/n." 

"Well we already knew that, that's why she wasn't here for a week." 

"No I mean, I think she's going to do something--- like something bad." 

She sucked in a breath of air and her eyes widened, she could hear loud chatter coming from inside her classroom while the teacher screeched and hollered for them to be quiet. 

She slammed open the door, "What the hell is happening?" She looked to the back of the classroom, "And where is Y/n?" 

"Didn't you hear? She got knocked up and she just ran out of her like the pussy she is, not wanting to take responsibility for her actions." 

Those words sunk in, making her vaguely freaked out and then angry. She clenched her fists together and gritted her teeth. "Who the _fuck_ said that?" 

"Suna." 

Her furious eyes met with his, not a single trace of remorse on his face as she stalked over to him and slammed a hand down on his desk. 

"How could you? What the fuck is wrong with you? What did Y/n do to have you make her so miserable? She's fucking depressed because of you..." She lowered her voice so no one except him could hear. "She fucking hurt herself because you're the biggest dick in the world, tormenting that poor girl when she was nothing but kind to you. Your fucking best friend." 

Those were the words to finally make him break his emotionless façade that he had been putting on and she could see his eyes flash with hurt and pain. 

"I didn't mean-" 

"You didn't fucking mean that? Do you realize the shit she's going through right now? What she might be doing right now? You fucking idiot!" 

_PUNCH!_

- _End Flashback_ -

"Is she awake?" The twins rushed up to her. She was just standing outside of the room, looking through the one-way glass, watching you as you broke down, your mind not in the right place. 

"She-She said that---" She couldn't even talk through the tears streaming down her face, her voice catching in her throat. 

"Hey, it's ok." Osamu wrapped his arms around her shoulders, hugging her from behind as Atsumu looked through the glass, a feeling of despondency washing over him. 

You suddenly looked up and whirled your head around frantically flickering your eyes over the too bright room. 

He didn't understand what you were doing until it was too late.

You had already unplugged the machines attached to your arm and stretched over, opening the cuts on your arm and grabbed a syringe with a long needle in it that the doctors had been giving you nutrition shots with and jammed it in your stomach. 

"Shit!" He exclaimed, dashing into the room and sprinting over to you, taking the needle out as you slumped into his arms, a small line of blood trailing out your mouth. 

Lyla was breaking down, weeping loudly in the middle of the hallway, not knowing how to stay calm with this turn of events, while Osamu rushed and got a doctor who came in and immediately started examining you with a machine. 

"She stabbed herself in the kidney, we have to get her into an emergency surgery now," He was talking rapidly while nurses and doctors swarmed the room, prepping to take you in, "If you don't go now, her kidneys could fail, eventually killing her. I suggest you get her parents here faster if that were to happen." 


	27. XXVII| SUNA'S FEELINGS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 27:☆.｡.:*

**_suna's feelings_ **

-

-

-

Dammit I really fucked up----

I went too far----

I didn't intend to get this deep into it, but once I started I couldn't stop. 

I had to make her stop loving me...

I didn't mean for it to go this far. 

I didn't want her to fucking hurt herself, I didn't want her to try to commit suicide two times. 

It was because of me. 

It's my fault she's like this and now---- now I don't know how to fix this thing I fucked up. 

All I wanted was for her to hate me, to make her stop loving me. 

She loved me so much. 

And I--- I love her too. 

But I'm scared. 

I'm so fucking scared of commitment. 

It started that day that I said "I love you and you love me" to her. 

That's what really fucked me over. 

I had obviously told her I loved her several times, hundreds of times even... when we were still friends. 

When I said those three little words I felt an impending doom rush over my body and I couldn't understand why I had begun flipping out. 

I just felt so panicked that I had finally settled down, that I felt the need to push her away in fear that I would do something to fuck up our relationship, turns out that by me pushing her away I fucked things up even more then if I would've stayed strong and pushed past my paranoia and hang-ups, we could still be happy.

But now I fear that nothing will be the same anymore and that no matter how hard I try to fix this shit I created, it won't work and I'll go through the rest of my life feeling as if I could've done something different. 

The main reason of why I'm so scared of commitment is because of abandonment, I love Y/n so damn much but I got so terrified, the fear loomed so much over me that I would love her too much and she would attempt to push me away first and that if she did the pain would be almost too unbearable for me to handle. 

So I pushed her away first, it was supposed to end at those text messages but I was so desperate, so desperate to just take a break away from her and have her move on for just a little while until I got rid of my anxiety that I started taking things too far. 

And that's when I learned that she would have never left me, that much makes sense considering I'm standing over her weak and limp body in a hospital room at 3am. 

Her face drained of the color it used to have when we dated, her entire body malnourished. It was enough to make me cry--- and so, I did. 

I pulled a chair and placed it right next to her bed, held onto her hand and cried. 

Cried that I might lose my best friend, cried that I might lose the love of my life, cried over the angry cuts and scars that danced up her arms because of what I did to her. Cried that I fucked her up so much she felt as if she wasn't worthy to keep on living, that she had attempted to end her life two times because of those awful words I had said to her. 

And finally, the thing that upset me the most was that she thought she was just a pretty face, that she was just a body to me, whenever she was so much more to me, she was my best friend, the only girl that I could be comfortable around with...

And I love her. 


	28. XXVIII| ANOTHER CONVERSATION

☆.｡.:*Chapter 28:☆.｡.:*

**_another conversation_ **

-

-

-

It hurt. 

_My stomach hurt._

_My head hurt._

_My arms hurt._

_Everything hurts._

But there's something, it must be your imagination, something cool holding onto your hand, soothing the burning skin that seemed to be engulfed in the flames of hell. 

A coolness that made you feel better as you came to, back in the world, back in the hospital room where now at least the lights were dimmed and the world outside a velvety, clear terrestrial black with a few twinkling stars winking down at you from its home in the sky. 

The coolness that you had been feeling now felt like a pressure and you looked down, an imminent anxiety washing over you like waves at a beach at the boy who was sitting there, resting his head on the mattress, asleep. 

_I must still be dreaming, there's no way he would've visited me, especially after how much he said that he wanted nothing more to do with me, but it felt so real._

You could hear his short breaths, his face was tinged a faint pink hue similar to a paint stroke on an artists palette, unwiped tears that had dried onto his face and you just stared blankly at him, several different emotions running through you at the same time causing your head to start spinning. 

With a sharp breath that sent an aching pain through your body, you reached out and tapped his shoulder lightly.

He didn't move. 

You cleared your throat. "Suna." You started shaking him lightly until he woke up in confusion, forgetting where he had fallen asleep. 

"Suna, what are you doing her- ow." He stood up and suddenly wrapped his arms around you, brushing against your sensitive arm. 

"I'm sorry, I'm so fucking sorry Y/n--" He whispered, voice wavering, "I don't expect you to forgive me, but I-I'm so s-sorry." 

"Suna." You said, reaching up and resting your head on his upper back that was trembling from the forcefulness of his crying and breathing. 

You felt yourself start to tear up, "W-Why did you do it?" You asked for the second time in the past week. 

"I don't know, I was so fucking stupid and it's no excuse for I put you through, I was just scared of commitment but I know that I-- ugh I was just fucking stupid and it's literally no excuse for those things I told you." 

"Why didn't you just talk to me? Why didn't you just say you wanted a break, I would've understood." 

"I don't even have an excuse for that, I don't know why I went temporarily insane and thought it was a good idea to put you down until you felt the need... the need to-" He couldn't even get it out and his grip around you tightened. 

"Rin---- it's not your fault, it's mine." 

"No, don't say that, if I hadn't said those things you wouldn't be here right now." 

"This was my choice Rin, I chose to cut myself, I chose to try and commit suicide. It would seem clear that those thoughts had been there previously, you only helped them come to the surface so I could get the help I needed." 

"Y/n, stop." He said, pulling away from you and taking your face in his hands. You gazed into his pretty greyish-yellow eyes, "Don't blame yourself for any of this shit, why are you blaming yourself? Blame me, fucking slap me again, I deserve it and I don't deserve you, just stop saying those things, I fucked up, you didn't." 

You went to say something else but he placed a finger over your lips. 

"I spread rumors, I sent you those text messages saying that you were annoying and clingy, I messed around with another girl to make you jealous, I purposely texted you saying that I was looking at another girl, I accepted your mother's invitation to that dinner so I could say that I was dating someone else, you didn't do anything, you're the victim here, I'm the one who put your through hell and again, I'm not asking you to forgive me, actually don't forgive me, I don't deserve it." 

"Rin--- you're not the one who held the knife to my wrists, you're not the one who gave me those pills that I tried to kill myself with, sure you were the one who said and did those actions, but now I can get the help I needed..." 

You could see the hurt in his eyes at you still blaming yourself and he stood up to his full height, releasing his hold on you. 

"I'll give you space, if you never want to talk to me again, I understand, but I'm just going to go." 

He turned to leave and a weird noise escaped you and you held out your arm. 

"Don't leave me again." 

Those words stung but he did as you asked and walked back over, crawling into your bed and laying next to you, just holding you, no words exchanged, just the presence of having him there was enough to calm your nerves. 

Because despite everything, you still cared deeply for him and no matter how many cuts you sliced into your wrist, your love for him never faded. 


	29. XXIX| TOKYO

☆.｡.:*Chapter 29:☆.｡.:*

**_tokyo_ **

-

-

-

Your time spent in the hospital went by relatively quickly. 

Rin visited every day, much to everyone's dismay, to make sure that you were comfortable and if you wanted him to bring you anything from your house to better your stay. 

And much to the doctor's surprise, you had been healing relatively quickly, both physically and mentally, despite your mental state having been at its lowest point earlier on. 

Your mother and father were flying back to Japan today, absolutely distraught about the events that had occurred in the past two weeks, but they couldn't leave work and you didn't mind since you had Lyla, Atsumu, Osamu, and Rin to take care of you. 

-

"Y/n! Oh my God, darling!" Your mother rushed into the room and threw herself at you, sobbing loudly, "I'm so sorry we weren't there for you, I feel like such an awful mother and your father feels the same way, he's coming up right now." 

"Mommy, it's ok." You rubbed small circles in her back as she wailed into your chest, "I feel better now." 

"Honey why? Why? Is it because we're never here for you? You got depressed because we're always away? I'll quit my job honey, just-" 

"Mother, I'm wasn't depressed because you're never here, you're fine I just had a mental breakdown, okay? You're fine, you did nothing wrong." 

She looked at you with watery eyes and smiled softly. "I'm so glad that you're okay now, honey." 

Your dad rushed into the room and sat down on the opposite side, fussing over you. 

"I'm sorry you had to go through this by yourself, but we can get you therapy? And we're going to be staying home for a while until you get better so you won't relapse, okay?" 

You nodded, wrapping your arms around you dad's neck and hugging him close to you. 

"I've already made an entire plan for us, dear." Your mother started, wiping away her tears, the bracelets on her wrist clinking, "We're going on a mother-daughter trip to Tokyo and we're going to spend some time just us together and then we're going to come back and you and your father are going to go on a trip--- somewhere, he said it was a surprise. How does that sound?" 

You sighed and smiled. "It sounds great mommy." 

You were relieved that you could have a break from school and your friends and just take some time off with your parents. 

"When are we leaving?" You asked, beginning to feel excited. 

"As soon as you get discharged from here and however long it takes you to pack. I brought you some clothes from the fashion show like I told you I would! I have some Louis Vuitton, Burberry, Gucci, and even some Coach." 

"If you're being completely honest, darling," Your father started, "You had to snag the Coach from under the nose of the people running the show." 

She rolled her eyes darkly and waved her arm nonchalantly. "They won't mind, if it wasn't for me they wouldn't be popular anyways." 

You laughed at your mother and father's banter, feeling genuinely happy you could have them by your side once and for all. 

-

A week passed by rather quickly and you were finally able to leave the stifling hospital that you were beginning to get angsty being in, having to walk around with your entire back half exposed to the world. 

According to the doctors, they gave you news that practically scared you shitless, and then apologized profusely claiming that just because they said something wrong happened in your surgery, didn't necessarily mean you would never be able to walk again. 

Even though they literally told you that. 

Whatever, it didn't matter now because you were leaving forever now. 

You were wheeled out in a wheelchair that was very unnecessary and practically dived into your parents Koenigsegg Trevita and curled up in the backseat. 

"What happened to the Ferrari?" You asked as they stepped into the car. 

"We had to leave it in Paris and get another one of our cars from the storage center." 

"I forgot we had this car." 

"Honestly same." Your mother laughed, much to your father's dismay. 

"How could you forget this beautiful piece of work dear, I'm offended." 

"I'm sorry darling, we have 6 cars, it's hard to keep track of all of them." 

You grumbled to yourself, falling asleep in the backseat. 

When you got home your mother jumped out of the car and very ungracefully woke you up, practically vibrating with excitement. 

"Ok darling, I'll help you pack, we already got a dog sitter for Apricot and so hurry up, our jet leaves in 4 hours!" 

You dragged yourself out of the car, feeling tired, grateful that you were taking a private jet so you wouldn't have to deal with people and just be able to sleep the entire time. 

Your mother chatter and chirped all the way up the stairs and got your suitcase out of the linen closet, taking it into your room and began bombarding you with fashion talk, packing your bags completely full with designer outfits, shoes, and of course sweatpants and sweatshirts for whenever you're at the Airbnb. 

When she was done packing, you yawned and stretched, putting on the outfit she had picked out for you, putting on a small white jacket to cover your arms. 

It was a light green button up crop top with a faint white plaid pattern, blue jean mom jeans, paired with a black belt, and white Converse. 

You heard her talking loudly with your father and then she called up to you. 

"Darling, Rintaro is here to see you!" 

You tensed up, you were glad to see him despite not having yet said that you had forgiven him. You sat on your bed and crossed your legs tightly together until the door opened and you looked up with a small smile.

"Hey Y/n." 

"Hey Rin." 

He walked over and sat down next to you, looking down at his hands that he put in his lap. 

"I just wanted to come over and say to have a good trip." 

"Thanks, I will." 

"Y/n! It's time to go! Say goodbye to Rintaro and come to the car!" 

"Ok mommy!" You called down, feeling rushed. 

You stood up and he did the same. 

"Well goodbye." He said. 

"Yea." 

You surprised him by wrapping your arms around him and burying your face into his chest, but he didn't complain, hugging you around your shoulders. 

When you pulled apart, he opened his mouth like he was going to say something but then shut it, leaning down and kissing you on the forehead, your face heating up. 

"See you soon." He whispered against you, turning around and leaving. 


	30. XXX| KOZUME

☆.｡.:*Chapter 30:☆.｡.:*

**_kozume_ **

-

-

-

As soon as you got on the plane, your mother poured a glass of champagne and you dropped off into a peaceful slumber, enjoying the small shakes the plane would do from the turbulence. 

You weren't really ever scared of flying planes, but you knew your mother was which is why she preferred using the private jet your family owned and the pilot your partners had hired after many month of searching for the perfect fit to make sure they didn't crash the plane or something. 

Your dreams consisted of blurry images of brightly colored signs and fast moving cars, with a crowd of people going to and from different shops and stores--- it was a peaceful dream that entertained you until you were jolted awake by the slight bump the jet did when it landed. 

You sucked in a large breath of air and rubbed your tired eyes, puckering your bottom lip out like you did whenever you first woke up. 

"We're here~" Your mother sang, clasping her hands together tightly and squirming around in her seat. 

"Yay." You said monotonously, not wanting to be awake right now. 

"Aw, come on darling, cheer up, we're going to have a fine time--- you might even meet some new friends." 

"Doubt." You grumbled, getting up and stretching, your bones cracking as the plane slowed down and halted. 

The door to the jet opened and your mother got up, shaking out her legs and stretching her arms above her head the same as you and stepped out into the aisle. 

You followed behind her and admired her prominent beauty. You were always in awe of your mother. The way she presented herself and held her head up high. The way her hair would catch in the light and sparkle like a chandelier, you hoped that one day you would as pretty and confident as her. 

The pilot held out a hand to help both you and your mom off the plane and led you to the limousine waiting for you that had already been packed with your luggage and such. 

"How far is the Airbnb?" You asked, yawning for the fifth time in a span of 5 minutes. 

"About 15 minutes away." She said, gracing you with her sapphire eyes. 

You sweatdropped and looked at her with a 'wtf' face. "What's the point of having this limo then if it's only 15 minutes away?" 

She shrugged, grinning happily. "I like them, they make me feel all fancy and important." 

You leaned back in your seat and yawned once more. "So tell me the real reason why you took me here." 

"What?" She asked with an innocent expression. 

In return, you gave her an aloof expression and raised an eyebrow. "The mother I know doesn't take a month off of work, no matter what the reason." 

"Darling, you were just in the hospital for an attempted suicide--- two to be exact--- I'm not a monster, how could I go back to work until I knew that my lovely daughter was stable enough to be left on her own. I took you here to get away from school and the people you know and just take a breather." 

You blinked. 

She blinked. 

"Well nonetheless, I appreciate it, it's gotten lonely in the house recently, well until you got me Apricot, I meant human contact." 

"What about Rintaro?" 

You froze for a second. You hadn't told her all the drama that had ensued up to the point of your incident, and you didn't intend on telling her either, not wanting her image of Rin to be tainted. 

"He's busy with volleyball you know, the normal things." 

"Oh that's right, he's getting ready for nationals right?" 

You nodded your head, beginning to feel miserable again and slumped forward, burying your head in the palm of your hands. 

"About 2 minutes away ma'am." The driver called out. 

"Alright thank you." Your mother said breezily, staring at into the scenery that was flashing by. 

"Where are we exactly?" You asked, hands still over your eyes. 

"The Nerima Ward in Tokyo." She answered, "I wanted to take you somewhere relatively quiet." 

You hummed, having no idea where that was as the car stopped abruptly. 

"We're here Y/n!" Your mother exclaimed excited and opened the door to the car. 

She beckoned you out first and you stepped out of the car, feeling stiff from just being stuck in a car for 15 minutes and stretched, walking up to the relatively nice house you were staying in. 

"I think the families name is Kozume so just be nice to them alright?" 

"Yea yea I know." You grumbled, not particularly happy about staying in someone else's house. 


	31. XXXI| GAMER BOI

☆.｡.:*Chapter 31:☆.｡.:*

**_gamer boi_ **

-

-

-

Your mother knocked on the door of the house... and no one answered. 

"Ummm..." She furrowed her eyebrows and knocked once more and that's finally when the door swung open to reveal a boy. 

A cute boy. 

He looked up and flashed his cat-like eyes over to you for a second. 

Ok really, _really_ cute boy. 

"Um hi!" Your mother's charm kicked in, "Where are your parents?" 

He looked around almost like he didn't even notice they were gone. 

"I honestly don't know." 

Both of you sweatdropped and looked at him who had no concern whatsoever. 

"You're the people staying at our house right?" He asked lazily. 

"Yes that would be correct." 

"Well come in I guess, I'm assuming they're going to be back soon." 

You stepped into the house and you awkwardly step sided him who seemed to be involved in some kind of game of some sorts.

You followed him up the stairs and he showed you where your room was. 

"Well thank you... erm." Your mom said, obviously feeling uncomfortable. 

"It's Kenma." 

"Alright, thank you Kenma." 

"..." 

"Alright, well come on Y/n." 

"Yea." You mumbled, looking at the boy who seemed to be in his own little world. 

You stepped into the room and your mother closed the door, looking at you with a funny expression. 

"Well that was certainly an interesting encounter." 

You giggled, holding a hand up to your mouth. 

"He was a little strange." 

She playfully slapped you. "Don't be rude." 

You snickered loudly, making her laugh as well and that's when you heard the front door open and someone calling Kenma's name. 

"That's all you, I don't like people." You said, gritting your teeth together and waving your hands around. 

"Y/n!" She hissed. 

"Mother you're acting like you don't deal with people everyday of your life, just go down and befriend them, I'm sure in the next 5 minutes you'll be besties." She completely ignored you and lightly clasped onto your arm and dragged you down the stairs much to your dismay to where his parents had just arrived. 

"Oh." The mom said, blinking at us, "We weren't expecting you to be here already, I'm terribly sorry that we weren't here... did you meet Kenma?" 

A snort escaped you and you shoved a hand over your mouth to stifle a giggle and buried your face in your mother's back. 

"Yes we did." 

"Oh Lord." 

A weird squeaky noise slipped out of you at those words. 

"He's a little antisocial and likes video games more than actual people." She said, her tone sounding apologetic. 

"Oh really? I didn't notice." Your mother said politely, hitting you in the arm as if to say 'shut the hell up.' 

"Well that's good! It's nice to meet you." 

After several introductions, you could already tell they were going to get into weird, boring adult talk and you wanted desperately out of the situation your mother had dragged you into. 

"Kenma!" She called out and you heard a door upstairs open and a creak of the floorboards coming down the stairs. 

"Yes?" He asked, looking up at his mom. 

"Take Y/n up to your room and... I don't know, just do something." 

Your eyes widened and you looked up at your mom who didn't seem to take pity on you, she leaned down to your ear, pulling your hair to the side. 

"Be nice to him." 

"I've always been a nice person." You said solemnly, holding a hand to your chest. 

She rolled her eyes and pushed you to him a little. 

"Um yea sure." He mumbled, looking at you for a second, his gaze lingering before dropping to the ground. 

You shuffled up the stairs, yanking on your sleeves to make them past your hands and followed him once again, this time into his room. 

"Uh do you care if I close the door?" 

"No, I don't care." 

For some reason, you felt guilty being in another boys room, even though in all reality it didn't matter since you weren't dating Suna technically anymore... so yea, it didn't mean anything. 

You dragged your feet over to his bed and lightly sat down on the crumpled sheets and he sat down next to you about 2 feet apart. 

"So what school do you go to?" He asked. 

"Inarizaki High, in the Hyogo Prefecture." 

A flash of recognition went across his face and he nodded.

"What about you?" You asked. 

"Nekoma High." 

You clasped your hands together and shoved them in between your thighs. 

It was painfully awkward being in this room with this cute boy who was also somewhat weird, but at the same time still polite. 

He broke the deafening silence eventually much to your relief. 

"....You wanna play video games?" 

You turned your head and smiled at him. "Sure." 


	32. XXXII| WHAT'S YOUR STORY?

☆.｡.:*Chapter 32:☆.｡.:*

**_what's your story?_ **

-

-

-

"So what's your story?" 

"Story?" 

It had been a few hours since you've arrived at Kenma's house, you could hear the rumble and laughter downstairs of the adults talking about everything and nothing. You and Kenma had surprisingly got along pretty well, considering your first impression of him. 

"You're in the Nerima Ward in Tokyo staying at a random person's house when it's clear that you have money, hanging out with a guy you just met playing video games in his room." 

You blanked. "Well when you put it that way---" 

"So what's your story?" He reiterated. 

"It's a long one." 

"I've got time." He put down his controller in his lap, immediately dying in the game you guys had been playing. 

You sighed and rested your elbow on your knee, putting your fist on the side of your face. 

"Well it all started when I was 2 years old..." 

-

He was a good listener, didn't interrupt you once- with words at least- the facial expressions he made as you told your entire story to him varied from complete disbelief to a tinge of anger to softness whenever you told him about your depression and incidents. 

You didn't understand why you were telling a complete stranger this, but once you started you couldn't stop. It felt good to finally have someone that would listen to you, that you could be honest with and not feel judged by their opinion. You just felt deep in your bones that he wouldn't judge you no matter what you said. 

When you were finished you felt as if the weight of the world was lifted off of your shoulders, every pain and heartache that you had been feeling in the past month finally out and laying on a figurative table, your story that had been kept bottled up and shook around like a can of soda until it was opened and spewed out. 

"So what are you going to do now?" 

You sighed and ran a hand through your hair in exasperation. "I don't know, I don't know, I still love him obviously but he hurt me... and I want to forgive him... but I just needed time away from him to collect my thoughts about this whole situation." 

"Well in that case," You turned to him, where he was smiling softly, "Let's take your mind off of this whole thing, and give you the break you need." 

You sat up. "And what did you have in mind?" 

"Just normal teenage things, hanging out with people." He shrugged. 

"Oh?" 

"It's clear that you want a sense of normalcy being away from what you've been dealing with, so we can always hang out--- outside of this house." 

"With whom, if I may ask?" 

"Just some of the guys on my volleyball team." 

"OH! You play volleyball?" 

He nodded his head shyly. "Setter." 

"Well then let's see if I can stand this volleyball team better than the other one that I'm used to." 


	33. XXXIII| THE BOYS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 33:☆.｡.:*

**_the boys_ **

-

-

-

"So let's go now." 

"Now?" 

"Yea." He grabbed onto your hand and pulled you up, your eyes wide as he dragged you out of the room. 

"Wait Kenma, jeez!" 

"Huh?" 

"I have to change." 

"Change?" He looked you up and down, "What's wrong with what you're wearing now? You look fine." 

Your face heated up a little for some reason. "Well I've been traveling all day in these and my mother wouldn't approve of me going out to see people in wrinkled clothes." 

He smirked a little and let go of your hand, "Ok rich girl, go change." 

You huffed and crossed your arms, "That's just hurtful." You grumbled, turning and stalking to your room. 

You stepped into your room and closed the door, and walked over to your suitcase, pulling out the first thing on the top of the pile of clothes your mom had shoved in it and paired it with thigh highs to cover up your legs. 

It was a purple plaid pleated skirt, paired with a purple button up long sleeved sweater and a white turtleneck underneath. 

You walked out of the room and saw him leaning against the wall, scrolling on his phone. He looked up and smirked. 

"Is that better, your highness?" 

You rolled your eyes and walked over to him. "No need to be so mean." 

"Terribly sorry." He said, still teasing you. 

"I'm going to cry if you don't stop." You said, as you both reached the bottom of the stairs. 

"Don't be so sensitive." 

"Where are you kids heading out to?" Your mother asked, peering at your outfit and nodding in approval. 

"Just to hang out with some people." You crossed your arms over your chest. 

"Are you taking her to see Kuroo and all of them?" Kenma's mother asked and he nodded. 

"Well have a good time, and be safe." 

"We will." You said, pushing open the door and stepping outside in the brisk air. 

"So who exactly are we meeting?" 

"My friends." He said, involved in his phone.

You sweatdrop and look at him with a 'wtf' face. "Names Kenma, names." 

"Oh yea, Kuroo, Lev, and Yaku, those are the only ones who weren't busy." 

"Tell me about them." 

"Well I know for a fact that Kuroo will try and hit on you, Lev is really tall and Yaku is really short." 

You burst out laughing, "Nice descriptions Kenma." 

"Just accurate." 

"Where are we meeting them?"

"Kuroo's house, his parents aren't home." 

"Don't tell me you're trying to kidnap me or something." 

He chuckled lightly. "Of course not." 

"I don't know," You raised an eyebrow suspiciously, "This seems like a very sketchy situation I'm walking into. Four volleyball boys and one girl, sounds like something out of porno or something." 

He made a weird noise from the back of his throat and began coughing while you cackled, patting his back. 

"I'm joking Kenma." 

"Don't joke about things like that." He choked out, a furious pink blush on his face. 

"Aw did I make someone flustered?" You cooed, in a fake baby voice. 

"S-Shut up." 

You smiled brightly, this was the first time you really felt happy in a while and you were glad for this break from reality that your mother had taken you on. 

You soon arrived at a house and Kenma walked up to the front door, busting in the door without knocking. You closed your eyes and snapped them open, blinking a couple of times before following him and closing the door behind the both of you. 

"Kenma is that you?" Someone called down from upstairs. 

"No it's a robber to come and steal your refrigerator." 

There was a pause, "Do you have a gun?" 

"Pft." You giggled a little as a tall boy with unruly hair walked down the stairs. 

"Woah." He said when you saw you, looking you up and down. 

"I told you." Kenma said, rolling his eyes. 

"Damn Kenma, I know you said you were bringing a friend over but you didn't tell me it was a hot girl." 

He walked up to you and held out a hand which you took. "Tetsuro Kuroo." 

"Y-Y/n L/n." You felt your face heat up a little and you crossed your arms over your chest, suddenly feeling self conscious. 

"Nice to meet you, L/n~" 

"Where is everyone else?" Kenma asked, dismissing his heavy flirting towards you. 

"Lev and Yaku are on their way, they got into a fight and Yaku started hitting and kicking him." 

You looked at Kenma with wide eyes. 

"It's normal." He reassured you and you nodded slowly. 

"That reminds me of the guys on our volleyball team back home."

"Who?" 

"They're twins, and they literally always fight, it's scary." 

Kuroo was about to ask something else when--- 

"Shut up!" We all heard someone yell from outside. 

"I didn't even do anything!" 

"You're being annoying!" 

"Ouch!" 

"Y/n you should move away from the door." Kenma said and you back away to stand in between him and Kuroo. 

The door slammed open and there stood in the doorway was a tall boy and a short boy screaming at each other. 

"Oh hi guys." The tall one, who must be Lev said, looking up at everyone, "Who is that?" He pointed at you. 

"Don't just point at people!" 

"I'm sorry jeez!" 

"I'm Y/n." You said, "You don't have to call me by my last name." 

"Nice to meet you Y/n." The short guy said, walking up to you and shaking your hand, "I'm Yaku and this is Lev." 

"Hi Y/n." Lev said shyly, standing in the corner. 

"Nice to meet you guys." You said sweetly, smiling at them all. 


	34. XXXIV| SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN

☆.｡.:*Chapter 34:☆.｡.:*

**_seven minutes in heaven_ **

-

-

-

"Dude Kuroo stop being such a creep." Kenma said, glaring at him. 

"What? I didn't even do anything."

"You're staring at Y/n like she's some kind of--- I don't even know--- but you're being creepy." 

"Am not." 

"Are too." 

"Am not." 

"Are too!" 

"Guys stop fighting." You said, pinching the bridge of your nose. 

"Yes ma'am." Kuroo said with a small smirk on his face. 

You rolled your eyes, feeling your face heat up a little by that comment and watched as Yaku and Lev continued bickering at each other, over literally nothing. Kenma was playing video games and Kuroo was just--- like Kenma had said--- staring at you like he was in awe of your presence. 

"Hey guys?" Kuroo asked. 

"What's up?" 

"We should play a game." 

"I already am." Kenma said.

"Not that kind of game." 

"What kind of game did you have in mind?" You asked, resting your fist on the side of your face. 

"Seven minutes in heaven." 

"Yea I'm not participating in that." Yaku said.

"Aw why?" 

"Maybe because of the fact there's one girl in this entire group!" He exclaimed, "Obviously, why else would I disagree?" 

"I still think we should play, maybe everyone can just go in a closet with L- Y/n and see what happens." 

"Then what's even the point of the game if you're just trying to be alone with Y/n? Just go in a closet with her." Kenma said, looking at Kuroo with an aloof expression who had crossed his arms with a small pout on his face. 

"I'm not trying to be a pervert." 

"Well you sure are failing at it!" Lev said. 

You darted your eyes back and forth to the boys who were arguing amongst themselves with an amused smile on your lips before speaking up: 

"We can go in a closet Kuroo." You said with a straight face, "After all, I'm accustomed to being in one, a physical one that is."

Of course, they had no idea what you actually meant by that statement and all four guys looked at you in bewilderment at you agreeing to something like that. 

"Y/n, you don't want to do that with a pervert like him." Kenma said. 

"Yea, go in the closet with me and we can just talk." Lev said, puffing out his chest importantly. 

"Or me, I won't disrespect you." Yaku said, quietly, looking away from you, clearly embarrassed with himself engaging in this conversation. 

Kuroo was squirming around in his seat, looking at you, not saying anything in response to the other boys statements. You leaned back in your seat on the couch, crossing your arms over your chest and smiling widely, eyes twinkling mischievously. 

"No seriously you guys, I don't mind at all, let's go Kuroo." You stood up and he bounded up from his seat, practically sprinting upstairs, almost tripping and falling. 

"Bye guys." You waved briefly and followed him who was standing outside of a closet with the door open. You raised an eyebrow and stepped inside and he closed the door. 

"So what's up?" He asked. 

A small laugh escaped you, "That's all you have to say?" 

"Well what were you expecting me to do?" 

"I don't know, ravage me or something?" 

"Nah, I'm not like that--- unless you want me to be, then we can make out or something." 

"I don't really care, this was your whole idea so you do what you want to do." 

"Um, do you want a hug?" 

"A hug?" You tittered. 

"Yea despite your face looking happy there's this faint tinge of sadness to your eyes, like your smile doesn't reach your eyes and there isn't a sparkle to them--- they're a little bit dull. So I was just wondering if you wanted a hug, even if I am a complete stranger." 

"That was really deep and sure I could use a hug." 

He wrapped his arms around your shoulders and you pressed your face into his chest, wrapping your arms around his waist and putting your hands on his lower back. 

"So you good? You wanna talk about it?" He asked, resting his chin on the top of your head.

"I talked about it with Kenma earlier." You said, voice muffled. 

"Wow you told your whole life story to another stranger? Do you really trust people that easily?" 

"Not usually, there's just something about you group of people that I just feel like I've known you my entire life. I can be comfortable around you guys and not feel worried about being judged, yaknow?" 

"Yea I feel that." 

You don't know how long you stayed in that position, not talking, just being there in the moment but when you walked downstairs, the boys were in a state of panic. 

"You were gone for 20 minutes! What did you do?!" Lev yelled. 

"We hugged." You said simply, smiling up at the tall boy. 

"Hugged? For 20 minutes? I highly doubt that." Yaku said, crossing his arms. 

"Nope I'm being dead serious, we just hugged, I'm sure you would be able to tell if we had done something else." 

"How's that?" 

"Well he would probably look like he's just seen an angel ascended from heaven, of course." 

"So confident in yourself shorty." He said, smirking. 

"That's right." 


	35. XXXV| THE KISS

☆.｡.:*Chapter 35☆.｡.:*

**_the kiss_ **

-

-

-

You had been in Tokyo for a week, staying in Kenma's house, getting to know him and there were very clearly some kind of blooming feelings going on but neither of the two of you either noticed or were too stubborn to admit. 

You were still pining after Suna and you didn't want to think about what would happen when you got home--- would he be waiting for you? All those words he said, did he mean them?

Did he actually love you? 

It didn't make any sense to you, it made you just want to curl up and cry for a little white, just to calm your nerves down. 

It was currently 2am, your mother was laying on her side, facing away from you and you were staring up at the ceiling. You had squirmed around several times, flipping over the pillow to rest your head on the cool side, but nothing could help you fall asleep. 

You began to feel suffocated, like the walls were closing around you and trying to prevent you from breathing. You began panicking and clenched your eyes shut, feeling lightheaded. You clenched onto the bedsheets and breathed out shakily, in an attempt to calm down but nothing could help with the small walls trying to cave in on you. 

You swung your legs out and wobbly walked out of the room, clenching onto the fabric that clothed your chest. You slid down the wall and buried your face in your knees, a single tear dripping down your face. 

It didn't make any sense that you were crying, there was no reason to cry. You've had an amazing week hanging out with Kenma and all the other boys--- what reason would you have to cry? 

Because of Suna? 

You still haven't verbally forgiven him, you still loved him obviously. No matter what anyone says, it's not that easy to let go of someone that you love, no matter what mistakes or how much they hurt you. 

When you love someone you want to keep them close to you for the rest of your life, it's not that easy to just dump them like a carton of puppies underneath a highway. 

More tears streamed down your face, you let your emotions take over you, not making any noises. The understanding you had with yourself was to not struggle and just let them free. 

You didn't think you were being loud but clearly you had made some kind of noise because Kenma's door creaked open and blue light flooded the dark hallway. 

"Y/n?" 

You looked up at him miserably and he furrowed his eyebrows in concern, padding up to you and sitting down. 

"What's wrong?" 

You shook your head and he sighed, wrapping his arm around your shoulder and pulling you into his chest. 

You sucked in a breath of air and relaxed against him as he rested his chin on top of your head. The gesture felt comforting and it felt warm being in his arms. 

"You don't have to tell me what's wrong but I'm not letting you go until you calm down." 

You nodded your head numbly and he continued holding you, slightly rocking back and forth and you sniffed, feeling your body calm down from the anxiety attack you had and half laying limply in his lap. 

"Are you good now?" 

You nodded your head. 

"Do you want to go back to your room?" 

You shook your head.

"Do you want to go to my room?" 

You hesitated before nodding your head. 

He helped you up and into his room where you both laid down, your head resting on his chest and his arm wrapped around you and resting on your lower back. 

"Kenma." You whispered. 

"Yes?" 

"Why are you so nice to me? You barely even know me." 

"Hmmm, I don't know you're cool and nice and I like hanging out with you--- and um... I might have feelings." He murmured the last sentence so quietly you almost didn't hear him. 

"What?" You asked in shock. 

"I know that you technically have someone else and I'm fine with that, but you're different from other girls that I've met and I can honestly say that I might like you." 

"Kenma---" 

"You don't have to say anything and I can deal with the fact that you probably don't like me back, but Y/n-" 

You looked up at him with watery eyes into his honey coloured ones that seemed to glow in the darkness of the room.

"I just want to try something." He muttered, looking briefly down at your lips. 

He pulled you up to where you were looking down at him with wide eyes and he leaned forward, pressing his soft lips against yours. 

It felt nice and you lavished in the warmth of it, feeling flutters run through your entire body and it made you feel even more conflicted about everything as he ran his slim fingers through your hair and deepened the kiss by tilting his head slightly. 

You sighed into the kiss, resting your hand on the back of his neck and allowed yourself to sink into the unfamiliar feeling.


	36. XXXVI| YOUR HEART BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE

☆.｡.:*Chapter 36☆.｡.:*

**_your heart belongs to someone else_ **

-

-

-

When you pulled apart, you looked at each other for a short while, not saying anything, the only sounds were the breaths that you each took. 

"Kenma..." You whispered, trailing off. 

"I just wanted to do that just one time before you left, it doesn't have to mean anything." 

"But, it did mean something--- it's just.." 

"Your heart belongs to someone else." He finished. 

-

"It was so nice to meet you all, thank you for letting us stay in your home!" Your mother chirped, bowing a little. 

"It was no problem! We love meeting new people especially from outside of our city, it was our pleasure." The two women hugged, while the father talked in a deep voice agreeing with what his wife had said. 

You struggled upstairs, dragging your suitcase behind you and tripped, almost faceplanting on the ground. 

"Pft." You heard someone chuckle. 

"Don't make fun of me Kenma or else I'll---" 

"-you'll cry, I know I know." He said, grabbing the suitcase from you and helping you with it. 

You scampered back in your room, having almost forgotten your other bag you had brought and whenever you came out after shoving some items in it, you ran head first into Kenma. 

"Shit, sorry Kenma." 

"Language!" Your mother yelled from downstairs. 

"I have no idea how she heard me." You murmured, looking in the direction of downstairs, "I swear she has such selective hearing sometimes."

He laughed a little and reached out, tucking some hair behind your ear and you felt your face heat up a little at that touch. 

"I'll miss you." He said. 

"I-I'll miss you too Kenma." 

He hugged his arms around you and you did the same, resting your face on his shoulder. 

"Y/n! It's time to go, the jet leaves in an hour!" 

You didn't respond and just held onto him for a shorter while, this was the guy who comforted you when you were depressed, the guy that understood up and listened to you. 

_Why can't I move on?_

_Why can't I stop thinking about Suna?_

"Stop stressing Y/n." 

"I-I can't." You stuttered, lip trembling a little. 

"I'm not worried about it, and you shouldn't either, I'll never stop liking you, but I can respect that I'll never have you." 

You gripped onto his shirt from those words, feeling even worse about yourself. 

"Think about it in a positive way, it just shows that you're loyal despite several guys liking you at the same time." 

"W-What do you mean?" 

"All the guys you met during your trip have a soft spot for you and I'm pretty sure they're head over heels, and despite that you still are sticking with the guy who you chose first." 

You sniffed a little, unaware of this news and began to feel insecure about yourself and the doubt began creeping in. 

"Don't feel bad though," He stroked your hair, talking softly in your ear, "please don't feel bad, just go live your life with him and don't think about us guys from Tokyo." 

"I'll never forget about you." You mumbled in his shoulder, "how could I when you've done so much for me?" 

"Y/n! We really have to go!" 

"Go." He said, pulling away from the hug and looking into your eyes, "don't say anything else and just go." 

You looked at him, tears forming in your eyes and turned on your heels, disappearing down the hallway and down the stairs where the tears that had threatened to spill finally did. 

You couldn't tell if it was your imagination but you could have sworn you heard him say: 

_"I love you."_


	37. XXXVII| REUNITED

☆.｡.:*Chapter 37☆.｡.:*

**_reunited_ **

-

-

-

From sheer exhaustion you slept the entire way home--- mostly from crying so much. Of course you had gone into the bathroom on the jet and sat down on the sink, holding the palms of your hands against your eyes and trying not to cry too loudly in order to not alarm your mom. 

When you touched down on the ground, you woke up with a splitting headache that made you see two of everything and you stumbled out of the jet, clutching onto your mother's arms who was alarmed by your behavior and talked loudly, panicking, her voice pounding against your skull painfully. 

You dropped into the car, leaning your head against the cool glass and dropped off once more, head feeling like it was going to explode and your brains splatter everywhere. 

-

You were awoken once more by your mom and in relief you felt that your headache was gone but you still felt achy from it, following your mother into the house where she squealed and jumped dramatically into your fathers arms, him spinning her around like they were in some kind of romance movie or something. 

You sulked in the corner trying not to gag when you father peeked around your mothers figure and spoke up: 

"Rintarou's up in your room by the way." 

You tilted your head, "really?" 

He chuckled a little, "yea he practically lived here while you were gone, waiting for you to come back, please go and talk to him or something." 

"Alright." You said, shoving your hands in your pockets and stepping up the stairs. 

You stopped in front of your bedroom door, breathing in and then breathing out, trying to calm your emotions and you opened the door. 

He was laying on the bed, having accidentally fallen asleep while waiting for you. You stayed by the frame watching his peaceful face and you felt a bubble of emotions be shaken up inside you, realising how much you missed him. 

You walked quickly over to the bed and crouched down by the bedside, hugging him and burying your face into his side. He stirred and when he saw you he flinched in surprise. 

"Y/n." He said, sitting up, your face now nuzzled into his stomach and he hugged you around your shoulders, "you're back." 

"Yea." You said in a muffled voice, attempting not to cry. 

"I missed you so much." He picked you up and you wrapped your limbs around his body like a koala and sniffed a little, failing at your attempts to not start crying, "why are you crying, though?" 

"I-I don't know." You stammered, a steady stream of tears running down your face. 

"Don't cry, it makes me sad when you do." He cooed in your ear, running his hand over your hair, attempting to sooth you. 

You ignored that statement, which only made you more emotional, your body trembling now and your grip around him growing tighter. 

He held you like that, not saying anything, just trying to comfort you in your state of vulnerability. This was the first time in a while where you felt comfortable enough to drop your guard around him--- and you could genuinely say that you were beginning to trust him once more.

The process would take a while, of course, having gone through with what you did but you were certain of yourself now after the inner battles you had gone through for the past month.

No matter what, you would always love him.

And nothing could change that.


	38. XXXVIII| NOBODY COULD COMPARE

☆.｡.:*Chapter 38☆.｡.:*

**_nobody could compare_ **

-

-

-

"Y/n, I love you so goddamn much." 

"I know, Rin." You whimpered into his shoulder.

"Please can we go back to the past where everything was normal?" 

"I don't think we can," You lifted your head up and pressed your forehead against his, "nothing's going to be the same after this, but I'm willing to do everything that we can to make it better, because I love you too." 

"Y/n." He murmured, closing his eyes, wrapping his arms tighter around you, "I love you." 

_Knock Knock Knock._

"Y/n we're going out, we'll be back in a few hours." 

"Ok mom." You said quietly, not lifting your head up and you heard her going back down the stairs. 

A few seconds later, the door slammed shut and the house was quiet. 

He pulled you away from him and closed the gap between your lips and his, softly planting a kiss onto you. He continued doing that, kissing you on the neck, the shoulder, everywhere that he could reach in that moment. 

You laid your head on his shoulder, mumbling words under your breath. He took you and moved you down so that your back was against the mattress and continued his journey around the top half of your body. 

It was a blur of different colors that you could see as he slipped off your shirt and kissed each individual scar that was on your arms and stomach, your chest moving up and down relatively quickly. 

He was being kind with every motion, looking up at you every so often to see if what he was doing was alright with you and continued it once he had consent. 

He slipped off your underwear and positioned himself in between your legs, sheathing himself inside you whilst kissing you and began slowly moving inside you, each stroke soft and deep, hitting all the right places. You dug your nails into his back, leaving small crescent shaped moons in his skin while you whimpered and mewled his name. 

He whispered sweet nothings in your ear, never going too fast, he just wanted to be in this moment with you. Your bodies working together like a well oiled machine, moving against each other like they were meant to be connected, the perfect fit of a puzzle piece. 

"Fuck, Y/n I love you." He murmured in your ear, despite him saying that once every two seconds you still felt happy every time those words slipped out of him, knowing that he was telling the truth. 

" _I'll never leave your side again._ " He said, kissing your neck and listening to your breathy moans that graced his ears. 

It took you going to Tokyo and realising that there's other guys out there to figure out that no matter what, you can't live without Rin being by your side-- it just wouldn't feel right.

After the 17 years you had been together as friends, lovers, enemies-- nothing could break that bond that you two shared. 

The good times, the hardships, the pain, the tears-- nothing could compare. 

**_Nobody_ could compare. **


End file.
